As the mom of a 10-year-old daughter and seven-year-old son, one of the hardest lessons for me to teach my kids is about consequences.

It’s not that the concept is particularly complex, in fact, it is incredibly simple and straight forward. Your actions result in a reaction—it’s Newton’s Third Law.

The difficult part is holding yourself back from interfering when you know your child’s decision is going to result in a negative consequence.

As parents, protecting our children is deeply entrenched in us, but there comes a time when you must let them “figure it out on their own.” The best teacher is experience and there are certain lessons they can only learn through doing.

For example, they are much more likely to grab their jacket on the way out the door the next time after they have spent an hour shivering outside because they refused to bring/wear it the last time. You can tell them it is cold out and they need a coat until you are blue in the face; they need to experience the biting chill for themselves so they will reach for the sweater the next time.

But was leaving the coat at home the “wrong” decision? The concept that there are no wrong decisions, only different life experiences, is an interesting one.

We spend all their young years trying to teach our children how to make the “correct” decision. How to do what’s “right.” It is a cruel irony that the most effective way to do this is by first experiencing what’s wrong. This is how we all learn, how we grow.

Good parents want to protect their children from everything but doing so would be a huge disservice to them. Sometimes our kids need to be uncomfortable, wrong, hurt, cold and mad because these are all parts of the life we are trying to prepare them for.

Whether they are trying (and failing) to make friends, starting out as a young entrepreneur (with a less than fool-proof product) or headed off to sleep-away camp (maybe before they are ready), we must let them fail.

Being a great parent, isn’t about making sure they don’t fall, it’s about being there to help them up when they do.

– Stacie Gaetz

Friendships play a crucial role in childhood development, shaping how children communicate, build trust and navigate social situations.

While some children form friendships naturally, others face challenges such as misunderstandings, peer conflict or social isolation. Parents and caregivers can play an essential role in equipping children with the tools to foster meaningful, lasting relationships.

Building the Foundations of Friendship

One of the most important lessons children can learn is that friendships require effort, kindness and respect. Teaching children to be good friends themselves increases their chances of forming positive relationships with others. Parents can guide their children by encouraging empathy, active listening and inclusive behaviour. Simple acts such as sharing, taking turns and considering others’ feelings help create strong social bonds.

Additionally, discussing differences in backgrounds, abilities and perspectives fosters understanding and inclusion. Encouraging children to appreciate diversity helps them develop friendships beyond their immediate social circles. Modelling these behaviours in everyday life reinforces the values of acceptance and kindness.

Navigating Conflict in Friendships

Disagreements and misunderstandings are a natural part of any relationship, including friendships. Learning how to resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive way is a key skill that will benefit children throughout their lives.

When conflict arises, children often react emotionally, leading to impulsive decisions such as withdrawing from a friendship or responding with frustration. Teaching children how to handle disagreements calmly and respectfully helps them maintain positive social connections. Parents can support this by modelling and reinforcing key conflict resolution strategies, such as:

• Encouraging Open Communication: Help children express their feelings using “I” statements, such as “I felt hurt when…” rather than blaming language. This reduces defensiveness and opens the door to productive discussions.

• Teaching Active Listening: Encouraging children to listen without interrupting and to repeat back what they heard ensures they understand their friend’s perspective. This can prevent small misunderstandings from escalating.

• Problem-Solving Together: Instead of focusing on who is right or wrong, guide children in brainstorming solutions that work for both parties. Finding common ground strengthens friendships rather than damaging them.

• Knowing When to Take a Break: Some conflicts benefit from a short pause before trying to resolve them. Teaching children that it is okay to step away and return to a conversation later can prevent heightened emotions from making things worse.

By reinforcing these skills, parents help children gain confidence in handling conflicts independently, leading to stronger and more resilient friendships.

Supporting Children Who Struggle Socially

Not all children find it easy to make friends. Those who are shy, anxious or struggle with social cues may need extra support. Creating structured opportunities for social interaction can make a significant difference. Activities such as team sports, art classes or community programs provide a shared focus, making it easier for children to connect with peers.

For children who need additional guidance, role-playing social situations at home can help build confidence. Practicing how to introduce themselves, join group activities or handle small disagreements can reduce anxiety in real-life interactions. Parents can also encourage their children to seek out friendships based on shared interests, as these connections often feel more natural and meaningful.

The Role of Parents

Beyond providing guidance, parents serve as role models for their children’s social development. Demonstrating positive interactions, showing kindness to others and managing conflicts respectfully all set an example for children to follow. Creating a home environment where open conversations about friendships and emotions are encouraged helps children feel supported as they navigate their social world.

For parents seeking additional tools to support their child’s friendships, The Friendship Guide offers practical advice and insights based on years of experience in child psychology. This resource provides actionable steps to help children develop strong, lasting friendships built on trust, respect and mutual understanding.

By nurturing these skills from an early age, parents empower their children to form healthy relationships that will benefit them throughout their lives. With guidance and encouragement, every child can learn how to build and maintain friendships that bring joy, support and a sense of belonging.

Let’s be honest, we can all use a bit of parenting advice from time to time. Of course you ask family and friends, read articles and parenting books, and you might even turn to social media for the odd tip.

But have you ever considered adding parenting podcasts to your toolkit? You can listen to them on the go and they are full of insights and practical solutions to help you thrive as a family.

Here are 40 popular and insightful parenting podcasts that cover a wide range of topics related to raising children, from early childhood to adolescence, as well as mental health, discipline strategies and family dynamics:

1. The Longest Shortest Time

Focuses on all things parenting, from birth to school age, with stories and insights from parents and experts.

2. Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Offers advice based on the RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) philosophy, focusing on respectful parenting.

3. The Mom Hour

Two experienced moms discuss the realities of motherhood, practical advice and the joy of raising kids.

4. A Dad Podcast

Focuses on fatherhood, offering tips and conversations to help dads improve their relationships and become better parents.

5. Parenting Beyond Discipline

Practical advice on positive discipline, helping parents navigate tricky parenting situations.

6. The Balanced Life

Focuses on holistic health for moms, with tips on physical, mental and emotional wellness for parents.

7. Raising Good Humans

Provides advice on how to raise kind, resilient and empathetic children.

8. The Modern Dads Podcast

Discusses the joys and challenges of modern fatherhood with a focus on shifting gender norms.

9. The Minimalist Mom

A podcast for parents looking to simplify their lives by embracing minimalism.

10. Happy Parent Podcast

Focuses on the intersection of self-care and parenting to create a more balanced life.

11. The Parenting Junkie

Offers peaceful parenting strategies and tips for raising mindful children.

12. Mom Brain Podcast

Discusses the challenges of parenting while taking care of your mental health, with expert advice on how to cope.

13. The Montessori Notebook Podcast

Covers the Montessori approach to parenting, focusing on child-led learning and respectful parenting.

14. Raising Parents with Emily Oster

Offers practical advice for raising children with confidence, resilience and love.

15. The Playful Parent

Focuses on play-based learning and the importance of play in child development.

16. The Family First Podcast

Offers advice and strategies for creating a connected, strong family unit.

17. Good Inside with Dr. Becky

Provides evidence-based parenting tips on how to handle the emotional challenges that come with raising kids.

18. The Motherly Podcast

Features conversations with authors, experts, and mothers about the challenges and joys of motherhood.

19. The Struggle Bus

Two hosts answer listener questions on everything from parenting to personal relationships.

20. Parenting Is a Joke

Each week, host and standup Ophira Eisenberg talks to a different comedian about their career and their kids.

21. The Parenting Roundabout Podcast

Discusses the ups and downs of raising children, with a focus on the everyday struggles of family life.

22. The Secrets of the Sibling Relationship with psychotherapist Nicole Addis

Discusses the complexities of sibling dynamics, offering tips for fostering healthy relationships between siblings.

23. Raising Lifelong Learners

Focuses on fostering a love for learning in children, whether through homeschooling or other education methods.

24. Love Your Mom Life

Interviews with moms on a variety of topics including family, career and the balancing act of modern motherhood.

25. Calm Parenting Podcast

Focuses on building peaceful relationships between parents and children through emotional intelligence.

26. Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Aimed at working parents, with a focus on finding the balance between career and family life.

27. The Playful Path Podcast

Discusses how parents can nurture their child’s creativity and playfulness, and how to foster joy in everyday life.

28. The Gentle Parenting Show

Focuses on positive parenting techniques that emphasize empathy, patience and kindness.

29. The Kids Aren’t Alright

Takes a deep dive into the mental and emotional well-being of children, exploring issues like anxiety and bullying.

30. The Science of Parenting

Offers research-based insights on child development, exploring everything from sleep to discipline strategies.

31. The Confident Parent Podcast

Gives parents the tools they need to be more confident in their parenting decisions and handle daily challenges.

32. Parenting with Purpose

Focuses on intentional parenting, offering guidance on creating a calm, loving and consistent family environment.

33. The Happy Mom Podcast

Discusses the challenges of maintaining your happiness while raising children, with tips on self-care and family life.

34. Simple Families Podcast

Focuses on simplifying family life, with tips on minimalism and reducing stress.

35. Parenting and Podcasting

Interviews with parents who share how they manage their careers and family life through podcasting.

36. Connected Parenting

Offers strategies for parents to build deep emotional connections with their children, enhancing family bonds.

37. Motherhood Unstressed Podcast

Aimed at moms looking to reduce stress and incorporate self-care into their busy lives.

38. Ask The Kid Whisperer

Offers tips for managing common parenting challenges, especially when it comes to toddlers and preschoolers.

39. Love, Happiness and Success

Focuses on relationship dynamics, including those between parents and children, as well as how to improve family connections.

40. Parenting Decoded

Offers a deep dive into decoding child behaviour and understanding what your child is really trying to communicate.

These podcasts offer a broad range of advice, support and conversation on everything from discipline strategies and emotional well-being to homeschooling and simplifying family life.

Whether you’re a new parent, seasoned caregiver or someone seeking insights into modern parenting, there’s something in this list for everyone so get listening!

Teenagers crave and seek risks. It helps them to develop and grow. We often think of risk-taking as dangerous, but taking risks is not always negative. Healthy risk-taking—like mountain biking, skiing or gymnastics—helps kids build confidence and strengthen leadership skills.

But, as parents, it is not always easy to accommodate our risk-craving kids.

Janine Fernandes-Hayden, the executive director of The Circle Education, has a son who is a downhill mountain biker. He discovered the sport eight years ago during a family trip in Whistler:

Our visit coincided with Crankworx, the world’s largest mountain bike festival. Watching the action, my son found himself mesmerized by it all. Whistler is a mountain bike paradise and my husband, and I agreed that our son could join a bike camp while we were there, to develop skills and bike awareness.

The next year, when we returned to Whistler, Crankworx was happening again. My son witnessed kids flying over the jumps and he said very longingly, with me standing next to him, “Oh, the one thing I want to be in life is a professional mountain biker…”

I recognized that I needed to compromise. Where did these fears come from anyway? When I was young, I didn’t shy away from adventures. In my 20s, when I lived in South Africa for close to a year, I went white water rafting on the Zambizi River and flew in a microlight aircraft over Victoria Falls. But that changed when I had children; my tendency to seek out new or thrilling experiences diminished. I became risk-averse, particularly in physical domains. I tried not to have this rub off into my parenting, but it has been a push and a pull.

And yet, as the executive director of an educational non-profit organization, who works with youth all the time, I know that kids and teenagers crave and seek risks. It’s part of growing up. Taking calculated risks is good for their brain development, their creativity and their confidence. In fact, the adolescent brain is wired to take risks, owing to their limbic system (think dopamine!) developing more rapidly than the part of their brain responsible for impulse control and judgment. What this means is, whether we like it or not; they will take risks.

Mountain biking is what experts call a healthy risk. It can be challenging, but with the right gear, training and guidance, it doesn’t have to be dangerous. Providing your kids with healthy outlets and activities, which can also be performing on stage or living a year abroad, can teach them how to calculate and mitigate risks.

My son is now part of a mountain bike team and participates regularly in downhill and enduro races. It is hard as a parent to see your kids undertaking risky endeavours. I admit that my fear sometimes prevents me from being encouraging and positive, but I also see what mountain biking is giving him. My son is a timid child and this risk-taking has opened him up to developing more confidence in other areas of his life. If you can ride down a mountain and jump over bumps, other things can seem less difficult.

Mountain biking also taught him how to calculate risks and learn his limits. And I must admit, I encourage him to take guided risks on a mountain bike, with a coach, wearing a helmet and protective gear, and appease his risk-taking cravings, steering him away from unhealthier and far more destructive alternatives.

As my son progresses with mountain biking, I am in the process of “building a bicycle while riding it” with my views on risk-taking. I try to ask myself the same questions and apply the same lessons that we teach youth in the programs that are offered through my work: What kind of choices do you make and why? What are your boundaries and limits?

It is important for kids to learn this at a young age. So ideally when they are beginning to hang out with friends, they have that processing in their brains. Hopefully, they will carry that through in other scenarios and situations when they become young adults.

What springs to mind when you think of the word “grow?”

As a parent, there is a good chance you might think back to the teeny baby you held in your arms at the hospital and marvel at the fact they have developed into a much taller, more independent version of themselves seemingly overnight.

It might bring to mind doctors’ appointments where you asked a medical professional if your little one should be crawling or walking or talking yet. Perhaps you recall telling your child to get down off their tippy toes as you marked their height on the chart in your kitchen. Maybe it’s the (now forced) photo you take of your child on the front step every first day of school with their brand-new backpack and fresh-out-of-the-box shoes.

These are obvious examples, but we all experience growth well past the time our bodies have stopped getting taller and far after we have surpassed all the expected developmental milestones.

One could argue that some of the most significant growth in an adult’s life comes after they have a child, and it is up to them to guide their kid through every step of their developmental journey.

When it is in our hands to ensure our child grows and develops into a healthy adult, we expand our horizons and learn more than we ever have. In our quest to help them grow, we advance our own knowledge vastly.

I often feel like my nine-year-old daughter and seven-year-old son have already taught me more than I will ever teach them.

Whether you are adding a new member to your family, growing a garden, building confidence with a new sport, expanding your skills by learning to play an instrument or taking steps to eat healthier, you develop with your kids. You can’t help it and you wouldn’t want to.

Growth is a mindset, but it is also a wonderful inevitability. We live, we learn, we grow—together.

– Stacie Gaetz

Building self-confidence in children is a multifaceted journey that requires patience, consistency, and a deep understanding of their unique needs and abilities. As a parent, you are the key to unlocking your child’s potential and helping to foster a strong sense of self-worth that will serve them well throughout their lives. Here are ten key strategies to help nurture your child’s self-confidence and empower them to thrive in all aspects of their development.

1. Promote Positive Self-Talk and Self-Reflection

Encourage your child to develop a positive inner dialogue by challenging their negative thoughts and beliefs. Teach them to recognize their strengths, talents and accomplishments, and help them understand that setbacks and failures are opportunities for them to grow and learn. Foster a habit of self-reflection, where they can assess their progress, celebrate successes and identify areas for improvement without harsh self-judgment.

2. Set Realistic and Achievable Goals

Work together with your child to set goals that are challenging yet attainable based on their interests, abilities and developmental stage. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps and create a roadmap for achieving them. Encourage them to take ownership of their goals and celebrate each milestone along the way, fostering a sense of accomplishment and motivation to continue striving for success.

3. Celebrate All Achievements

Create a culture of celebration in your home by acknowledging and honoring your child’s achievements, no matter how small. Whether it’s mastering a new skill, showing kindness to others or persevering through a difficult challenge, take the time to recognize their efforts and express genuine pride in their accomplishments. Celebrating success boosts their confidence and reinforces their belief in their abilities.

4. Provide Specific and Constructive Feedback

Offer feedback that is specific, constructive and focused on effort, progress and behavior rather than innate qualities or abilities. Highlight what your child did well and offer gentle guidance on areas where they can improve. Encourage them to view feedback as a valuable tool for growth and development, rather than as a criticism or judgment.

5. Lead by Example

Be a positive role model for your child by demonstrating confidence, resilience and a growth mindset in your own attitudes and behaviors. Show them how to navigate challenges with optimism and determination. Model healthy self-care practices such as self-compassion, mindfulness and stress management. Your actions speak louder than words, and your child will learn valuable lessons from observing how you approach life’s ups and downs.

6. Encourage Exploration and Risk-Taking

Create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable exploring new activities, trying new things and taking healthy risks. Encourage them to step out of their comfort zone, embrace challenges and learn from both successes and failures. Teach them that setbacks are a normal part of the learning process and an opportunity to build resilience and perseverance.

7. Promote Independence and Responsibility

Empower your child to make decisions, solve problems and take responsibility for their actions within appropriate boundaries. Encourage autonomy and independence by giving them opportunities to learn from their mistakes and experience the natural consequences of their choices. Provide guidance and support as needed but allow them the freedom to learn and grow through trial and error.

8. Provide a Supportive and Nurturing Environment

Foster a loving, accepting and supportive home environment where your child feels valued, respected and safe to express themselves authentically. Cultivate open communication, active listening and empathy within the family, and encourage your child to share their thoughts, feelings and concerns without fear of judgment or criticism. Be their biggest cheerleader and source of unconditional love and support.

9. Teach Coping Skills and Resilience

Equip your child with the tools and strategies they need to cope effectively with stress, anxiety and adversity. Teach them relaxation techniques, mindfulness practices and problem-solving skills to help them manage their emotions and navigate difficult situations with resilience and confidence. Encourage them to seek support from trusted adults and peers when needed and remind them that they can overcome any challenge they may encounter.

10. Encourage Positive Social Connections

Support your child in developing positive relationships with their peers by encouraging positive social interactions, collaboration and teamwork. Encourage them to participate in activities such as sports, clubs or community service where they can connect with others who share their interests and values. Teach them valuable social skills such as empathy, communication and conflict resolution, and help them navigate the complexities of peer relationships with confidence and integrity.

4 Ways to Balance Screen Time Around Children

Kids learn how to use technology by watching their parents and caregivers, so consider what kind of role model you want to be.

One of the advantages of modern technology is that you can be at the playground and scroll through your phone at the same time. We’ve all been there. We answer emails, catch up on group chats and try to get in that one last text. The thing is, children notice. They’re watching us, watching how we use devices.

Lots of studies show the effects of screen time on kids and there are guidelines for how much is appropriate at what age. More importantly, kids learn their screen habits from us. But it’s common for many parents and caregivers to be distracted by their phones when spending time with their children. These tips can help you balance your own tech use and be a role model for healthy habits.

Set device-free times and zones. When kids are around, set an example by using tech the way you want them to use it. Keep phones away from the dinner table, try not to multitask while using devices and turn the TV off when no one is watching.

Establish screen-time goals for yourself. The secret to healthy tech use is to establish limits and stick to them. Try using your phone’s screen-time features to track how long you use it. Then set some goals for how you’d like to be using your phone when spending time with family. Be mindful if you find yourself constantly responding to emails and messages during your downtime. Before you check your phone, ask yourself: Why am I checking my phone? If you don’t have a good reason, put it down. And if you do pick up your phone in front of the kids, try to explain what you’re doing. That way, they know you’re using it for a reason.

Keep distractions to a minimum. You probably tell your kids to turn off their devices during homework time. Get rid of the stuff that distracts you, too. Limit notification alerts when spending time as a family, or set your devices to “do not disturb.” Try to avoid using devices around your children on long commutes and journeys or at appointments, too.

Watch and play movies, shows, and games together. Whenever you can, watch, play and listen with your kids. Ask questions that get them thinking, like Who’s your favorite character? What do you think will happen next? This is a great way to have discussions about your values. It will also help kids make connections between what they see on screen and their lives. With older kids, you can draw them out by sharing stuff from your social media accounts.

Originally posted in Common Sense Media, October 2022.

Every child passes through that stage of being afraid of monsters. Whether it’s under the bed, in dark corners, down in the basement—it seems to be a universal childhood fear. This fear can take root before a child is at an age when a parent can even reason with them. Even then, that assurance rarely seems to allay such deep-seated phobias. And some children’s fairy tales only serve to fan the fire: the witch in Hansel and Gretel who cooks children, the giant in Jack and Beanstalk who will “grind Jack’s bones to make his bread” or the big, bad wolf in The Three Little Pigs who is out to devour some piggies.

I’ve had these experiences with my own sons. Now, predictably, my young grandson seems to be going through the same phase. This was made clear to me on a recent trip to the public library. Whenever we visit the library, I turn my grandson loose in the children’s section. Often he’ll tuck himself away with a book that catches his interest. On this particular visit, I didn’t notice he had his nose in a book about monsters until he asked me to put it back because it was scaring him. As we walked home afterwards, I noticed he wouldn’t hold my hand. When I asked him what was wrong, he said he didn’t want to hold my hand because he was afraid I was going to turn into a monster. So I asked him: “You’ve known me seven years now, have I ever turned into a monster?”

His answer? “I don’t think so, but sometimes you look pretty scary.”

Well…I asked.

How best to handle this touchy subject of childhood fears and phobias? In my own childhood, the prevailing approach by many parents at that time was a no-nonsense one. There are no such thing as monsters. Period. Simple as that. It was as if a child’s fears were not be “indulged.” I was raised with this approach and can attest that it did nothing. (Other than cause me to feel ashamed and somehow inadequate). Although on one level, I trusted the word of my parents (that they wouldn’t lie to me), but their logic simply could not quell my fears. I still ran up the basement steps two at a time. My fear of the dark was so innate and so irrational that it overruled all common sense until I was well into my teens.

As a result, my approach with my own children was very different. Having been a victim of my own fears, I didn’t want to make my children feel bad about experiencing their own. So I listened, hugged and validated their concerns. I actually found it helpful to confess my own childhood fears to them. It was a way of illustrating that at some point, these anxieties which seem so overwhelming when we’re young, gradually lessen as we grow into adulthood. I also readily admitted to them that even in adulthood, I still have some fears I continue to grapple with.

I’m happy to see books in the public library that address the topic of childhood fears. I’ve read several stories with my young grandson that illustrate the mastering of a particular phobia. While reading these stories, I am quick to point out the accompanying feeling of accomplishment and pride the child experiences by the end of the book. Many of these books employ behavioral therapy techniques in which children are gradually exposed to their fears in a safe, secure environment. Take the fear of spiders, for instance, yet another phobia of mine! Reading books together about spiders and their importance in our ecosystem might be a way to start addressing this fear. Having a child look at illustrations and photos, even gently encouraging them to touch those photos, can help to desensitize their fear.

Pointing out spiders in one’s outdoor environment, watching them build a web or collecting a spider in a bug box are some further ideas to help with desensitizing. I am a firm believer that steps like this help make fears more manageable. These fears may never leave. But at least we can develop coping skills that can serve us well later on in life.