Once upon a time, play was just a built-in part of childhood. More recently, there has been some serious competition introduced that has slowly eroded the kind of play our children have access to.
Research shows that over the past several decades, there has been a significant decline in our children’s access to “free play”—the kind of play that is not scripted or governed but is just allowed to unfold. Not surprisingly, as free play has decreased, mental health and related challenges have skyrocketed.
The reduction in access to free play has likely come about from a variety of forces including a problematic focus on rote learning in the early years, “safety-ism” whereby adult fears have eroded the creative space that children need to extend into for the full benefits of play to be realized, and the intrusion of screens and social media.
The result of all of this is that children are no longer getting the glorious experience of immersion in a play-based developmental experience. And because of that, they are struggling with mental health, stress management, learning, social skills and resilience. Play is nature’s answer to all these woes. Which means, that as adults, it is on us to get fierce about protecting childhood so that play lives on in unbounded ways. Here are some practical ways to do that:
1. Think about what it means to disconnect from technology. The national guidelines around this suggest no screen exposure for children younger than two years of age, limits of one-hour per day for children three to six years and two hours per day for children six to 12 years. When your children are on screens, be very savvy about what they are being exposed to. Delay multi-player gaming until your child is older and able to engage safely in online platforms. Don’t allow your children on social media until at least age 14 years. Be aware of exposure to violence, sexual content and other concepts not suitable to the developing mind by implementing parental controls.
2. Plan for a return to nature. Think about making sure your child is out in nature every day. One idea is to match “screen time for green time” so whatever amount of time your child has been on a screen, ensure they have the same amount or more out in nature. When outdoors, think about the idea of unstructured play for your child where they can explore risk, engage physically and experience the emotional benefits of simply being outdoors.
3. Think about play as an essential component for healthy development. In holding this as an ultimate priority, think about the idea that play is not simply for filling time. Rather, it is an essential ingredient in your child’s development. In fact, whether a child is “playing as they normally would” is often an indicator of health and well-being. As a start, plan for 30-minute stretches of time two or more times each day of uninterrupted, “child-lead” play.
4. Create an environment that facilitates exploratory play. Exploratory play is about pushing boundaries, trying new things out, being brave and getting creative. Think about the kinds of materials that you might want to make available for this. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy or expensive. In fact, the very best play spaces are usually full of natural materials like rocks, tree trunks and discarded bits of whatever you have laying around. Of course, be aware of safety, and try to remember that development always moves at the speed of trust. Your child will have some intuitive sense of what to avoid and what to lean into. Observe and step in where appropriate, but also embrace the wisdom that children have on board naturally. And remember, mess is part of it all, so get comfortable with and welcome it!
5. Connect to each other. One of the most wonderful things about play is that it creates abundant opportunities for the experience of shared joy. And what a wonderful thing for children to know the joy of connecting with their special big people—their parents, caregivers and educators—in the world of play. If you are a parent, think about planning for a minimum of 15 minutes a day of playtime with your child where your focus is them—and only them.
6. Allow your children to be bored. Being held in the experience of boredom allows the world to become quiet enough so that the child can hear himself. In a world that is so busy and so noisy and altogether too much, we need to take the volume button and turn it way down. When a child can hear their own inner voice, they become truly alive. Creativity, problem-solving, exploration and heaps of other processes are simultaneously ignited.
When we can think of play as essential, play as medicine, play as a healer and play as the ultimate fodder for growth and development, we can begin to clear the path for championing play in the everyday lives of our children. And, when we have a world where children get to have this kind of childhood, we can trust that the kids will indeed be okay.
