The holidays are often portrayed as joyful, cozy and magical but for many families, they can also be overwhelming. Between disrupted routines, overstimulation, family dynamics and unspoken expectations, both children and parents can feel emotionally stretched. Joy and frustration often show up together. That doesn’t mean something is wrong, it just means everyone is human.

Children don’t yet have the fully developed brains to regulate big emotions on their own. When their nervous systems become overloaded by noise, disappointment, exhaustion or social pressure, they flip into fight, flight or freeze. What they need most in those moments isn’t a consequence or quick fix, they need connection and co-regulation.

At the same time, parents may be carrying their own stress: financial strain, full schedules, perfection pressure or unresolved family tensions. When a child melts down over a broken cookie or the wrong socks, even a loving parent can feel themselves reaching the edge.

These moments are hard and yet, they’re also where emotional learning happens. How we respond as parents shapes how our children understand themselves, others and relationships. When families move through the messy parts with compassion rather than shame, kids learn to do the same and that’s where resilience begins.

When There’s Disappointment

Gift-giving is often where big expectations meet big emotions. Maybe your child didn’t get the gift they were hoping for. Or their sibling got something they secretly wanted. Or they open a present and say, “This isn’t what I wanted.”

In that instant, many parents feel a pang of embarrassment, frustration or hurt. It can feel like a lack of gratitude and our instinct is to correct it: “Say thank you.” “You should be grateful!”

But when we jump straight to teaching gratitude, we sometimes miss what’s really happening underneath. Most often, this isn’t about entitlement, it’s about disappointment. Your child can feel thankful for receiving a gift and still wish it were something different. Those two emotions can coexist.

When we misinterpret disappointment as ungratefulness, we risk shaming kids for being honest about a very normal human experience. But when we pause and make space for both feelings: gratitude and disappointment, joy and sadness, we help them develop emotional flexibility.

You might try saying: “You were really hoping for something else. It’s okay to feel disappointed and we can still show appreciation for what we’re given.”

That balance—empathy first, teaching second—is where real emotional learning happens.

Practical Strategies for Supporting Kids Through Holiday Emotions

Strategy #1: Pause Before Responding. Take a breath, soften your shoulders and speak slowly. Your calm nervous system is the most powerful tool in the room.

Strategy #2: Name the Feeling, Not the Behaviour. Try: “You’re really disappointed your cousin got the gift you wanted.” This helps kids feel understood, which lowers emotional intensity.

Strategy #3: Connection Before Correction. Problem-solving works best after a child feels safe. Once calm, you can talk about gratitude, tone of voice or kindness.

Strategy #4: Repair When Needed. If you snap, it’s okay. Try: “I was feeling overwhelmed and I yelled. I’m sorry. I love you, and I want to try again.”

Simple Scripts for Tricky Moments

• Gift Disappointment: “You were really hoping for something different. It’s okay to feel upset.”

• Overwhelmed in a Busy House: “There’s a lot happening right now. Let’s take a quiet break together.”

• Sibling Conflict: “You both want the same toy. I won’t let anyone get hurt. Let’s figure this out.”

• When a Parent Loses Patience: “I’m feeling overwhelmed too. I’m going to take a breath so I can help better.”

Toddlers don’t come with a manual and some days it feels like they should. Between meltdowns over the wrong colour cup, resistance to getting dressed and endless curiosity about everything they shouldn’t touch, parents are often left wondering, “What the heck am I supposed to do right now?”

If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, you’re not alone. Every parent of a toddler has been there: feeling stuck, second-guessing themselves and wishing there was a step-by-step guide for getting through these years. While no manual exists, there is a powerful tool you can lean on: play.

Why Play Works

Play isn’t just fun; it’s a toddler’s first language. Children explore the world, learn new skills and process big feelings through imagination. Research shows that play lowers stress, strengthens relationships and makes cooperation more likely.

When parents weave play into daily routines, they shift the dynamic from control to connection. Instead of demanding compliance, you’re inviting your child into something they already understand and enjoy. For toddlers, this feels safe and engaging which makes cooperation more likely. Who doesn’t want more connection and cooperation with their toddler?

Play in Practice: Everyday Strategies

The good news? You don’t have to be endlessly creative or energetic. Small doses of playful connection can go a long way. Here are a few ways to try it at home:

• Turn routines into games. Try racing to see who can put shoes on first, or sing a silly song while brushing teeth.

• Add pretend to tricky tasks. The toothbrush becomes a car wash for teeth. The laundry basket turns into a rocket ship.

• Role-reversal play. Let your toddler be the “parent” giving you directions for two minutes. This helps them feel empowered and often makes them more willing to follow directions afterward.

• Sprinkle in silliness. Use a funny voice, make a pretend mistake or move like your favourite animal on the way to the car. Laughter is one of the fastest ways to diffuse tension.

Play Without Pressure

What if being playful doesn’t come naturally?

• You didn’t grow up with playful parents. Start small: a silly wink or quick race is enough.

• You’re tired. Try low-energy play like a high-five game or a funny voice.

• You worry about losing authority. Remember: playful doesn’t mean permissive. You can be both silly and firm.

• You don’t know what to do. Let your toddler lead. They’ve got enough imagination for both of you.

Play is a Parenting Tool, Not a Performance

For many parents, being playful doesn’t always come easily. You may feel awkward, exhausted or unsure of what to do. That’s okay. Play doesn’t have to be elaborate or constant. Even 30 seconds of silliness can shift the energy, reduce resistance and create a moment of connection.

The truth is, parenting toddlers will never come with a manual, but you don’t need one. Imagination and playfulness are often the next best thing. They help you guide your child through big feelings, lighten the hardest moments and remind you both that connection matters more than control. With play in your pocket, you already have one of the best tools there is.

Back-to-school season is more than just the return to routines and packing lunches. It also brings many mixed emotions to the surface. Conflicting feelings like excitement and nervousness, fear and bravery, hopefulness and disappointment will rise suddenly like waves and merge forcefully together like currents. Mixed feelings experienced together can be overwhelming, especially for our kids who are still learning how to cope.

Suddenly, what should feel like a fresh start can turn into meltdowns over misplaced shoes or sibling squabbles before 8am. It’s not long before everyone in the house is feeling caught in an emotional storm. As a family counsellor and a mom of three, I know how contagious emotions can be, spreading like the flu from one family member to the next.

New seasons bring new stressors and both kids and parents can feel the emotional intensity that comes with change. When your child is falling apart because they didn’t like their lunch, it’s important to understand that these aren’t just random blowups. These are moments of dysregulation, when your child’s nervous system is overwhelmed and their emotions have taken over.

And parents? We get pulled into that storm too. Maybe you stayed up too late, have a full day ahead and you were already running on fumes when the meltdown hit. Suddenly you’re snapping, threatening consequences you don’t mean or withdrawing completely, just to survive the moment.

If you fall apart sometimes, take heart, you’re normal! There is a way through these moments when you understand what’s really going on for you and your kids.

The Science Behind Falling Apart

When kids are “falling apart,” it’s not because they’re spoiled or trying to manipulate us. It’s because their developing brains aren’t wired yet to manage big emotions on their own. The part of the brain responsible for self-regulation, the prefrontal cortex, is still under construction well into their 20s.

In moments of stress, kids drop into their more primitive brain centres, and you are seeing their stress response of either fight, flight or freeze. What they need most in these moments is not logic or discipline, but co-regulation: a calm adult to anchor them. When we stay emotionally steady, we give our kids’ nervous system something to mirror. That’s how emotional wellness is built.

What Can Parents Do?

Here’s the good news: you don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present. Your presence and your tone of voice can do more than any perfectly crafted parenting script.

Try this three-step approach the next time your child is unraveling:

1. Pause and Breathe. Before you respond, take a slow breath. Feel your feet on the floor. This one second of grounding helps you access your own regulation.

2. Validate and Acknowledge. You might say, “That sock really is bothering you,” or “You’re feeling so upset right now.” You’re not agreeing with the behaviour, you’re naming the feeling. This helps your child feel seen and safe.

3. Offer Connection Before Correction. Once the storm has passed, then you can talk about what went wrong and how to do it differently next time. But in the heat of the moment, what your child needs is your calm.

But What If You’re Falling Apart Too?

This is the part we don’t talk about enough. Parents are often told to “stay calm,” but not shown how to do that when we’re exhausted, triggered or carrying our own emotional baggage.

One of the most important tools is self-awareness. Start noticing your early warning signs: clenched jaw, rising voice, tension in your chest. These are cues that you need a moment of regulation.

When possible, narrate what you’re doing out loud: “I’m feeling overwhelmed too, so I’m taking a breath before I say anything.” This models emotional regulation and gives both of you space to reset.

Falling apart safely doesn’t mean avoiding big emotions. It means creating a family culture where emotions are allowed to exist, be supported and moved through. That’s what builds resilience.

Repair Is Where the Magic Happens

Emotional wellness isn’t about having it all together. It’s about knowing that repair is always possible. When you model repair by circling back after yelling, or saying, “That was hard! Want a hug?” you teach your child that mistakes don’t define relationships. Connection does.

So, as you navigate this back-to-school season, remember: It’s okay if your child falls apart. It’s okay if you do too. What matters most is finding your way back to each other.

That’s where resilience is built. That’s how families grow stronger. And that’s the heart of raising emotionally healthy kids.