Camp is not just a fun experience for kids—it can also be an absolute game-changer for parents.

After dropping their kids off at camp, mom and dad can take a breather from the non-stop routine of managing schoolwork, extracurricular activities and the constant juggling act of family and work.

With kids at camp, you get some peace and quiet to recharge, focus on work, tend to your relationship or just enjoy a more relaxed pace of life for a while.

1. Personal Growth

While kids grow and develop at camp, parents also benefit. Having time to themselves allows parents to rediscover hobbies, spend more time with each other or simply enjoy some self-care.

2. A Chance to Get Away

With the kids away, parents can connect more deeply. Some families use the time for vacations, weekend getaways or just enjoying quiet evenings together somewhere other than home. Without the distractions of daily life, it’s easier to nurture relationships and make memories.

3. The Benefit of Socializing

While kids are off making new friends, parents can socialize too. Some camps offer parent weekends or online communities where parents can meet others who are going through similar experiences. This can create a strong network of support and even lifelong friendships. It is also an opportunity to call or text your old friends you haven’t seen in a while now that every waking moment isn’t jam-packed with responsibilities.

4. A Sense of Accomplishment

Knowing that they’ve sent their kids to an enriching experience that supports their independence, personal development and well-being gives parents a sense of pride and fulfillment. It’s not just about the break; it’s about knowing your children are in good hands and are benefiting from the camp experience.

5. Helping Kids Build Independence

Seeing their kids learn new skills, make their own decisions and become more self-sufficient is rewarding for parents. It reinforces their role in raising confident, capable children. Parents get to witness the growth of their kids without the constant day-to-day pressure.

6. Learning How to Let Go

Sending kids to camp can be a big emotional milestone for parents. It helps parents learn how to let go, trust others with their children’s well-being and embrace the idea that their kids are growing up. It’s a step toward healthier parent-child relationships.

7. Improved Relationships

The time apart can enhance relationships within the family. Parents can reconnect with each other, strengthen their partnership and spend quality time together without the usual distractions of managing a busy household.

8. More Time for Work or Projects

With kids at camp, parents often have more time to focus on work, personal projects or other responsibilities. It can be an opportunity for career growth, completing long-overdue tasks or renovations, or pursuing activities that are difficult to do with kids at home.

9. Enhanced Family Bonding When Kids Return

After the kids come back from camp, parents often notice how their children have grown—more independent, confident and skilled. This can lead to a renewed appreciation for the family bond and a better understanding of their children’s needs and strengths.

10. Time to Reassess Parenting & Family Goals

With time to reflect, parents may gain perspective on their family dynamic and goals. Camp can serve as a reminder of the importance of fostering independence and personal growth for both children and parents.

Camp provides incredible benefits for children and offers parents valuable opportunities for self-care, improved relationships and a healthier family dynamic overall. The benefits of camp for the whole family are undeniable. It’s about creating space for everyone to grow, relax and reconnect.

I held onto the railing as I walked down the steep stairs, balancing a bag of beach toys in my hand and a toddler on my hip. When I let my daughter down, she ran off toward the tidal pools like a spring suddenly released—bouncing back once the pressure lets up.

Those were the days when I would sit on the beach and watch her run around mostly naked, covering herself with wet sand, clad only in training underwear. She loved that beach with its warm tidepools, the crabs under rocks and sand-castle conducive sand. I loved it because the trek down the stairs, although arduous, made it seem otherworldly and like our own private oasis.

I had never been to that beach before the COVID-19 lockdown, when I suddenly found myself Googling “parks in Victoria without playgrounds” and texting my mom for recommendations of hidden gems. During lockdown, my two-year-old and I had a routine of going to a park or beach every morning and staying out as long as we could until we raced home for a washroom and lunch.

That spring, we discovered some gems: Francis King Park, Gowland Todd, Arbutus Cove, Finnerty Cove and Telegraph Beach, among others. Often, we’d just sit on the beach singing the songs from the YouTube list that was the soundtrack to our family’s lockdown, blasting “She’ll be coming around the mountain” at the top of our lungs while the other families in the distance chuckled from the other side of the beach.

Even with the lockdown, the social restrictions and the looming existential crisis around us—those are some of my best family memories. It somehow seemed so simple—being in nature, not worrying about a packed schedule, keeping up with social engagements or rushing to activities. There was just us and the only option for entertainment was nature.

Now with a school-aged kid and the pandemic lifted, I find myself feeling stifled by schedules. There’s gymnastics on Wednesday, Sunday morning soccer, dance recitals, school fundraisers, birthday parties and playdates. Then of course there are work deadlines, workouts to keep up with and aging parents to think about. What’s more, I can’t set the agenda anymore—my daughter now has opinions on what she wants to do and a social circle of her own.

The other day after ballet and our ritual of post-ballet coffee (me) and ice cream (her), I suggested we go to a “beauty spot.” With playgrounds open again, the term “park” has come to mean playground for my daughter. My suggestion of visiting a “beauty spot” rather than a park was met with a six-year-old going on 16 pout of “I don’t want to.” Often, I’ll give in, but this time I stuck to my guns and insisted we go to a beach afterwards. “I don’t like beauty spots!”

When we pulled up to our “beauty spot” and looked out over the beach and the ocean, we saw a regatta of sailboats with colourful spinnakers up. At first, my daughter climbed onto the car door, peering out at the boats with fascination. Eventually, we wandered over to the beach. She stuck her hand on the rocky beach and spotted a small spire shaped shell.

“You didn’t tell me there were mermaid shells mommy!” she gasped. She kept raking her fingers through the beach “and sea glass!”

“Mama, can we bring this pretty rock home? Can you put this in your pocket? Mama, you found one that looks like a heart! Let’s make Dada a collection too!”

She filled my pockets with tiny gems, a collection for each family member, and bounced across the beach to the rocky outlook. “Look, purple flowers! A secret path! Can we follow it mommy?” “Sure” I smiled. “I thought you’d like it here.”

During COVID, exploring nature kept our spirits up when everything was uncertain. Now, with the pandemic behind us, we are firmly in the era of booking summer camps at 6:30am and hardly having a weekend without a birthday party. These days, our nature adventures are a way to explore without a schedule, without a plan, without expectation. I knew she’d like the “beauty spot” but I had no idea she’d pretend the driftwood was a balance beam, the rocks were a stage and the park bench was a restaurant.

After our outings in nature, I feel so full—my shoulders lower, my breath deepens and picking up a birthday present for the next party suddenly seems less urgent. Exploring outdoors was the medicine I needed during lockdown and it’s the taste of freedom I need now.

An increasing number of my friends find themselves in the challenging position of simultaneously caring for both their children and aging parents—the sandwich generation. I’ve witnessed close friends juggle responsibilities, from picking up their children to rushing to ensure their parents are taking their medications and maintaining their households.

These situations are challenging on their own, and they become even more taxing when parents are also navigating the tumultuous teen years in today’s complex parenting landscape, leading to elevated stress levels.

Stress, in turn, makes it challenging to self-regulate, which involves maintaining composure under pressure and refraining from raising one’s voice.

At MindKey Health, our team shares a powerful mantra with parents: “We must always share our calm, not amplify our children’s chaos.” (I must note that the original quote is by LR Knost: “When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.”

Balancing the duties of raising kids and taking care of aging parents, which is a unique challenge for the sandwich generation, can be difficult and emotionally draining. Staying calm while handling both roles is tough but commendable. To help you do this and follow the advice of sharing calm, here are nine practical tips for you to consider:

1. Embrace a Proactive Mindset

Cultivate a proactive mindset by anticipating potential challenges and addressing them before they become overwhelming. Establishing routines, organizing tasks and creating a comprehensive care plan for both generations can provide a sense of control and predictability, alleviating stressors.

2. Prioritize Self-Care

Dedicate intentional time for self-care activities that rejuvenate your mind and body. Whether it’s a few minutes of meditation, a brisk walk or engaging in a hobby, prioritizing self-care is crucial for maintaining resilience and preventing burnout.

3. Establish Boundaries

Clearly define and communicate boundaries to prevent burnout. Understand your limitations and learn to prioritize tasks. Setting realistic expectations for yourself, your children and your aging parents helps create a manageable routine, reducing the constant pressure that can contribute to stress.

4. Seek Support for Your Children

Acknowledge that you can’t do everything alone. When it comes to your children, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Establish connections with the parents of your child’s classmates and build a support network. Request assistance in picking up your child from school or accompanying them to extracurricular activities when your attention is required for your aging parent. Shared responsibilities can alleviate some of the daily pressures.

5. Invest in Household Assistance

Recognize the impact of a clutter-free and well-maintained home on your mental well-being. Even if it’s only once a month, consider hiring a house cleaner. Outsourcing this responsibility can provide you with valuable time for self-care and reduce the mental load associated with household chores.

6. Prep Your Meals in Advance

Streamline your daily routine by stocking your freezer with easy-to-make dinners from convenient sources. Preparing and freezing meals in advance can save you time and energy, allowing you to focus on the immediate needs of both your children and aging parents without compromising on nutrition or resorting to last-minute meal solutions.

7. Utilize Grocery Delivery Services

Embrace the convenience of grocery and meal delivery services like Instacart, DoorDash and Skip the Dishes. This not only saves you the time spent navigating crowded grocery stores but also ensures that your household remains well-stocked with essentials. Simplifying the grocery process contributes to a smoother daily life.

8. Explore Resources for Children with Special Needs

If you have a child with special needs, take the time to understand and utilize available resources. Investigate the Disability Tax Credit, Home Owners Grant Disability Tax Credit and Respite Services like those offered at the Cridge Centre. This knowledge empowers you to provide the best possible care for your child, reducing stress and fostering a sense of support.

9. Proactive Healthcare for Aging Parents

In caring for aging parents, explore proactive and person-centered healthcare options tailored for seniors. Organizations like Monarch Health offer services that prioritize the well-being and comfort of elderly individuals within the familiarity of their own homes. Investigate these options to ensure your aging parents receive the care they need, easing the burden on your shoulders.

By implementing these strategies, you can create a more sustainable and balanced caregiving routine, fostering an environment where you can share your calm amidst the challenges of the sandwich generation. Remember, seeking and accepting support is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your resilience and commitment to the well-being of both your children and aging parents.

Whether you’re new to the island, or you’ve grown up here, chances are your social life will have changed as a working parent.

Work takes up a lot of time, and with family responsibilities, it may feel like you’re spending all your energy on someone else’s agenda, passively observing friends on social media or people you admire on podcasts, you may realize when your head hits the pillow that you’re missing the live interaction you thrive in.

This was me three years ago, before I took the bold step of immigrating from the UK to Vancouver Island. It wasn’t easy to build a friendship circle here on the island and 18 months into the pandemic, I was already feeling like a passive spectator in my friends’ lives.

Since then, I have spent two years researching the science of connection and friendship. According to Dr Robin Dunbar, our brains can maintain only a limited number of social connections—150 to be precise—but it’s our innermost circles, our closest 12 to 15 relationships that have a significant impact on our health and happiness.

What stops us from connecting?

1. Time can easily disappear if we are not intentional with it.

2. Social media can dilute the energy we have, from those important to us, to people outside our 150. Studies suggest we spend three hours a day on social media and only 27 minutes with friends. Do some platforms fill you up and others bring you down? Becoming aware can help you to understand if they are serving you.

3. Trust. Shared experiences can be a great way to cultivate trust with new friends. If you struggle to know what to say, consider relationship deepening games (e.g., 39 Questions by Arthur Aaron), which help you to share pieces of yourselves, with reciprocal vulnerability. In my experience, going to level two is typically enough with new friends.

4. Fear of rejection. Inviting old and new friends into our lives is a gift of our time, but it can feel vulnerable. We often make up stories—particularly when we see the glamorous lives they portray on social media! While this is an illusion, why not look your friend up, and/or, do something to bring your vibration up, before reaching out.

How much social time do I need?

Learning the social needs of your family can help you understand what to commit to each week, and when you need to decline invitations to keep a healthy balance. As an extrovert, living with an introvert, my social needs are greater than my fiancé’s. I have started gathering with a group of expats, digital nomads and entrepreneurs, in Langford on Friday afternoons, to get my social fix before the weekend begins. How much social time do you need? You may find it useful to test and adapt to find your sweet spot.

My children (aged five and seven) get plenty of social time at school, so in the week, I have found that one activity in the week and one at the weekend is enough for playdates, anything more can be overwhelming.

How can you find authentic connections?

1. Get to know yourself. Remember who you were, shadows and all. Remember them, and then let them go. Ask yourself the kind of questions you would want to know of others. Allow time for the answers to come–melt into the pause. Embody this authentic version of you when you meet old and new friends.

2. Remember who your people are—near or far. Who could you invite back in that may be on a similar page as you? If someone keeps coming to mind, see this as a clue, and while it may feel vulnerable, imagine yourself as the receiver. How good would it be to hear from them?

3. Imagine and visualize the kind of friend you want to call in. And when you feel the impulse to speak to someone, be courageous and spark that conversation!

4. Trust that “what you seek also seeks you” (Rumi), and if you do feel called to reach out, do so without expectation. Not everyone will have space for you in their lives, they may not even reply, and that’s okay, trust that the right people will, and your circles will evolve—as life does.

Real-life best friend and mom duo Kristin Gallant and Deena Margolin (the founders behind Big Little Feelings) have launched a new podcast. “After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings” is kind of like the “mommy group” you wish you had. One where you show up after a long ass day of parenting. With spit up on you, in sweatpants with a wild mom bun, you talk about allllll the things we’re all experiencing as parents that no one talks about. With all the “taboo” topics included. Marriages changing after kids, miscarriage, feeling like a failure, sex drive, guilt. All in a real/raw way that leaves you feeling less alone and more empowered by the end of each episode.

podcasts.apple.com

The New Year is a time to reset for many. While fitness, career and travel goals are on minds, there’s another reset that is on it’s way. That’s your registered account contribution room.

These accounts are beneficial when saving for big goals like retirement and education. Because they each offer either tax-free or tax-sheltered growth. With the cost of living increasing and incomes lagging behind, Canadians are wise to take these advantages wherever possible.

As Canadians, we have access to several different registered accounts to help us pay less tax while we grow our wealth. Such as the Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP), Tax Free Savings Account (TFSA), Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP) and the brand new First Home Savings Account (FHSA).

Here’s a quick breakdown of how those resets occur:

Reset Breakdown

TFSA—each January all eligible Canadians will grow their contribution room by $7,000. This makes the total room $95,000 for those who were born prior to 1991. Any money withdrawn in a previous year can now be recontributed with this reset.

RESP—these accounts can receive up to $2,500 of contributions each year. If you have not reached this maximum in past years, you still can. You can do this by contributing two years worth, up to $5,000, in any given year.

FHSA—these brand new accounts have only been available since late last year. Once opened, you can add $8,000 per calendar year to a maximum of $40,000 in contritions over 15 years .

RRSP—while these contributions limits do reset each year, this won’t happen until you have received your Notice of Assessment, this is typically in the spring. However, each person’s limit is based on their income the previous year(s) and you can begin contributing in January for 2024.

In addition to the accounts mentioned above, the Registered Disability Savings Plan (RDSP) for those who qualify for the Disability Tax Credit (DTC) is also resetting for new grants and bonds. RDSP accounts are tested on family income (2023). $106,717 and below can receive $3 in grants for every $1 contributed up to $500 of contributions and $2 in grants for every $1 contributed up to $1,000 of contributions. For family incomes above the threshold, the match is $1 for every $1 up to $1,000. These contributions grow tax deferred and are taxed in the hands of the beneficiary. Contributions can be made up to age 49.

Planning ahead and sticking to your strategy are the best ways to accomplish your long-term savings goals! Try to save 10% of your gross income each month and increase it 2% per year until you reach 20%.

How do things work in your household? Who does the majority of the financial chores? Do you have separate bank accounts? What works well for you, and why? Your input to the conversation has incredible value because we can all do better if we know better. Money Stuff with Moms is all about answering money-related questions just like these. Peek behind the curtain to see how other moms do money with local hosts Lindsay Plumb and Meghan Chomut in their podcast Money Stuff with Moms on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and all the other podcast apps.

As a frustrated eight-year old, I remember writing a poem called “when I am nine”. It described all the many possibilities the world would have to offer me after growing older. Old enough to get my ears pierced was the main one, but also, old enough to stay up later. Old enough to have more friends over for my birthday party, not quite old enough to babysit yet. But old enough to start thinking about the coveted Saint John Ambulance course.

Now, of course, growing older has less appeal. With a milestone birthday approaching I’m realizing that the second half of my life will be quite different from the first. Ahead of me are inevitable life events, ones I am fortunate not to have experienced yet. My parents passing, health problems, my hair going grey. And yet, I realize that for the rest of my life I will look back at myself now and wish I was that young again. As one friend put it, growing older is a gift, or, as my grandmother always used to say, it’s better than the alternative.

The other day I went to a new hairdresser.

I’m not for everyone, he warned me. Then he proceeded to tell me that my hair was “losing pigmentation.”

Yeah, you’ll have a big grey streak here, he noted matter-a-factly as he combed through my part. I texted my What’s App mom friend group after the appointment to vent. Everyone chimed in how they were starting to get greys too. When I mentioned it to my Pilates teacher, she simply stated well, that is what happens as we get older as if expecting anything else just didn’t make sense.

My daughter is starting kindergarten soon and one of the things I’ll have to grapple with in the second half of my life is her growing up. Life as I’ve known it for the past few years is ending and in its place is a new life with an older child, one who talks and wipes her own bum and doesn’t need a highchair or soft food or sleep sacs or Baby Yum Yums. At soccer, she now kicks the ball instead of just running over it. She can sit through plays and go hiking without a carrier. Although there’s still the occasional tantrum, she more often negotiates with the prowess of a Bay Street lawyer.

Recently, we went on a plane for the first time since the pandemic. It was the first time in my daughter’s memory. She got scared of the small bathrooms and didn’t go the entire time. As we landed, she started crying because her ears hurt and she had refused to suck on the candy we’d given her. After we landed back home, I tried to comfort her by telling her what a great traveller she’d been. You know, the plane is the worst part of travelling—it’s being in other places that’s really fun and seeing different people. She looked at me and countered but the plane was the best part!

It was then that I realized how many more wonderful things are ahead of me in this next decade. I’ll have a not-so-little child who just enthused about flying minutes after wailing from ear pain and not peeing for hours. She dances in the living room and makes cards to give to everyone she meets. We can go camping without hauling a pack and play and sippy cups. We can sit in coffee shops without running after her the whole time. Soon, she’ll have sleepovers in our rec room and have crushes and play in real soccer games. We can learn about stars and make models of the solar system. Eventually, she can get her ears pierced and we can get pedicures together. Maybe she’ll even make me pancakes. She looks forward to getting older too—being able to read soon, using a real computer, being a cool “big kid.”

It’s time I start seeing the bright side as well. Life might be different with a few grey hairs, but it’s also the start of a new era. A different season of parenting. Although I may already have my ears pierced and be well past the babysitting stage, I also have a lot to look forward to as well—regardless of the ticking of time.

Okay, so it’s pronounced “hooga”—not higgy—and it’s nothing new (unless you’ve been busy raising kids for the past few years!), hygge, that state of cozy contentment, can feel near impossible when it comes to parenting.

Meltdown on aisle four? Not feeling it.

Food flinging across the kitchen and sliding down the wall? Nope, still no warm and fuzzies.

Three-sailing wait? Can’t say the car is feeling so cozy or comfortable right about now.

But don’t stress says Iben Sandahl, parenting expert and author of The Danish Way of Parenting: A Guide to Raising the Happiest Kids in the World, getting hygge is as easy as lighting a candle, making some hot chocolate, sitting down with your kids and giving them your full attention.

At the risk of adding stress to the process, here’s a list of Dos and Don’ts that Sandahl recommends to help you set the mood:

Don’t say “Now we’re really going to hygge”—there will be too many expectations that can block the mere presence of it. Hygge is an intangible concept, something that occurs in the moment and is therefore difficult to stage.

Do leave personal drama at the door. There are other times to focus on any problems you may be having. Hygge is about creating a safe place to relax with your family.

Don’t use iPhones or devices. Turn them off or put them away. By giving children our full attention, we make the time afterwards much easier as they are then usually ready to do something without our interacting.

Do make it a daily/weekly routine. It makes kids feel safe and they will know that it is associated with something nice and comfortable.

Do make an effort to create a nice cozy atmosphere. Light some candles, play a game or bake, for example. Part of the process is the preparations you do together.

So no matter what you call it—hygge, hibernating or just plain hanging out at home—here’s to finding comfort and joy this holiday season with those you love.

Happy Holidays and all the best in 2023.