The holidays are all about joy, love and making memories—not maxing out your credit card! Ditch the pricey presents and embrace the magic of thoughtful, creative and fun ways to celebrate. Here are some tips on how to keep the season merry without going into debt.

1. Skip Store-Bought

Gifts that can’t be wrapped are often the most memorable. Plan a cozy night in with friends and family, grab some blankets, pop some popcorn and have a holiday movie marathon. Or gather the crew and go on a holiday light tour around town. Host a cookie-decorating party or make your own hot cocoa party with all the fixings. No matter if you’re with friends or family—or both—these are the experiences you’ll remember long after the season is over, not how much was spent on presents.

2. DIY It

Homemade gifts have a way of making everyone feel special–and they’re even more appreciated if your kids help you. Whip up some goodies like gingerbread cookies or make holiday fudge and wrap it up in cute, festive bags. Why not simply layer the ingredients for hot cocoa in a mason jar and tie a ribbon around it?

Consider a simple craft project. Make ornaments with friends or hand-paint all your holiday cards. Personalized touches show you care and cost next to nothing. People will appreciate the effort over another store-bought knick-knack.

3. Not All Presents Fit Under the Tree

Why go big on spending when you can go big on meaning? Put together a “Favourite Things” package such as a handpicked playlist for your music-loving friend, a homemade recipe book for a self-taught chef or a photo album capturing memories with your bestie. Plan a local day trip to somewhere your kids love or give them each a “Yes Day” regarding the games your family plays and what you make for each meal.

4. Host a Secret Santa Exchange

Instead of breaking the bank to buy for everyone, suggest a Secret Santa or gift swap with your friends, extended family, workplace or older children. Not only will this save everyone money, but it adds an element of surprise and makes gift-giving more exciting. Draw names, set a spending limit (get creative with a $5 or $10 max) and see what funny, thoughtful or quirky things people come up with.

5. Stick to a Budget

Set a budget that works for your family and think of it as a fun game to see what ideas you can come up with using the amount you have set aside. Add some friendly competition with friends or family to see who can find the most creative, low-cost gift. You’ll be surprised how freeing it is not to worry about spending too much, and it’s a good feeling knowing you won’t face any post-holiday financial woes.

6. The Gift of Time

Offer your time to help a friend or family member out. Maybe it’s babysitting, pet-sitting, helping them organize a room or even giving a free home spa or movie night where you bring treats and cozy blankets. Make personalized coupons as gifts, such as a coffee date or ice cream on the beach, on you. These coupons for time together are especially great gifts for your kids to give their grandparents, aunts and uncles. Often, a fun adventure can feel more thoughtful than anything you’ll find in a store.

7. Free and Festive Activities

Check out what’s happening around town. Holiday parades, tree lightings, carolling and local markets are often free or low-cost and full of holiday vibes. Bundle up and check out the lights, enjoy the music and soak in the season with your family and friends.

8. Make New Traditions

If some of your current traditions are costly, it’s time to create new ones! Start hosting a yearly brunch with homemade waffles and hot cocoa for your extended family and friends or create fond family memories by picking up some inexpensive crafting supplies so everyone can make a piece of holiday décor that can be brought out year after year.

Remember, the holidays are about togetherness and celebrating. Use these ideas to reduce the stress around how much you spend and get to making those important Christmas memories your kids will cherish for years to come.

Halloween is just around the corner and costumes will be at the top of your kids’ minds. Finding time to make lists and shop for costumes on your busy schedule takes a lot of effort and can be a burden on your pocketbook, too. Instead of going to the store, turn your eye inward and shop in your own home closets and cupboards.

Here are four costumes for young children that are easy to make, take minimal time and don’t require sewing skills. These fun DIY costumes use t-shirts from your kid’s closet and other items that you probably already have in your household. All you need is a bit of creativity and there is no need for a sewing machine or inserting zippers or buttonholes. Once you have gathered all the necessary items, let your creative powers flow and the costumes can be finished in a flash!

Black Cat

All you need is a black t-shirt and black leggings or pants. Make a tail by stuffing a long black sock and attaching it to the back of the t-shirt with a needle and thread or a safety pin. Cut out two ears from black fabric and loop the bottom edge of each ear around a plastic headband and hot glue in place. If you don’t have a hot-glue gun, fabric glue, tape or safety pins will work too. Finish the cat look by adding a nose and whiskers with face paint or eye liner.

Jack-O’-Lantern

Young kids love to dress up in this traditional Halloween costume. All you need is an orange t-shirt and black leggings or pants. To make the face, cut out large pumpkin eyes, nose and mouth from black craft felt (or cut up a black t-shirt) and glue or hand stitch onto the front of the orange t-shirt. Add a little pumpkin hat by gluing orange fabric onto a plastic headband. Twist green pipe cleaners onto the headband to form upright stems and then glue little green leaves onto the pipe cleaners. To finish it off, tie a bright green scarf around the neck.

Royalty

Your child will look very regal in this fun costume. Decorate a pink or purple t-shirt by gluing on sequins or glitter glue and wear over pink or purple leggings or skirt. For the cape, drape a white pillowcase around the shoulders and secure with a large twinkly brooch or hand-sew two ribbons to the upper corners of the pillowcase and tie a bow in front. For the crown, cut a three-inch wide strip of yellow Bristol board and glue in a circle to fit around your child’s head. Cut the top edge with several points, then decorate the crown by glueing on sequins or glitter glue. Add embellishments, such as long sparkly necklaces or bracelets.

Bumble Bee

Your child will be buzzing around in this amusing costume. Glue black horizontal stripes onto a yellow t-shirt and wear over black or yellow leggings. For the antennae, glue small, black pom-poms onto pipe cleaners and attach to a headband. Make the wings by cutting bubble wrap in two long oval shapes and then securing on the back of the t-shirt with a safety pin or duct tape. Add some magic by covering the wings with glitter glue.

Remember that Halloween costumes should have a bright or reflective component so that trick-or-treaters can be seen in the dark. Be sure to add reflective tape on their treat bags or a glow stick or necklace as they walk door to door. Happy Halloween!

If you’re part of a family that likes to host birthday parties, it can be surprising to see how much single-use plastic and garbage come from our celebrations. Fortunately, there are a few eco-friendly tweaks we can make to our birthday traditions that can ease the burden on the environment – and on our wallets. A green party is a great way to celebrate our children of all ages while caring for our planet.

1. Think of Green Themes

Hosting a party with a green theme can be great for us Islanders because we are so lucky to have the beauty of nature right at our doorsteps. Host at your favourite neighbourhood park, do a nature scavenger hunt or throw the party in your back yard. Consider setting up a gardening station where the kids plant their own seeds (this can make a great environmentally friendly take-home favour, too!). For indoor parties, booking at a recreation centre or fun activity business makes a great choice because they often provide low waste activities—like using gymnasium equipment, escape rooms, laser tag or karaoke machines. If you’re hosting an indoor party in your home, you can play board games, host a movie night or have a mini spa day. These can be low-waste, high-fun options!

2. Use Reusable Decorations

When you’re in charge of decorations, think about what you can use that won’t be discarded after the party. So much of what we see online includes elaborate balloon arches and flimsy decorations that are so specific to a theme or character that kids are likely to outgrow by next year. To combat this, opt for secondhand decorations from friends, thrift stores or online marketplaces! If buying new, consider purchasing sturdy materials that can withstand being folded up and stored—like fabric birthday banners without specific characters. For those who enjoy crafting, making party decorations is a wonderful way to utilize material scraps and add a personal touch to the party.

3. Ditch the Disposable Items

Disposable cutlery and plates often end up in a huge garbage bag at the end of a party. A great way to reduce waste is to get reusable serving items. If you’re able to stock up at the thrift store or discount store, there can be an incredible trove of serving dishes, plates, cups and more, that can be purchased at a low cost and used for years to come. If convenience is of top importance, compostable plates and cutlery are an excellent way to make clean-up quick, without sacrificing the environment.

4. Give Out Greener Goodie Bags

Goodie bags have long been a cherished birthday party tradition. Unfortunately, many goodie bags include an abundance of plastic toys that don’t provide much play value. While it’s important to show gratitude at the end of the party, this is a great opportunity to make our party traditions more environmentally friendly. It helps to think of quality over quantity—there’s no rule against giving one or two more practical or longer-lasting items to each guest instead of a bag full of fun-for-a-moment “stuff.” While the best options will depend on the age group and budget, a keychain, wooden puzzle or a package of garden seeds all make for greener party favours.

5. Rethink Presents

Finding environmentally friendly gifts can also be challenging. Kids are so excited to receive presents but presents often come with an abundance of waste. Many toys are made of, packaged in and gift-wrapped in plastic or other materials that are hard to recycle or reuse. Not to mention you then have a stack of toys to clutter up your home. When sending invitations, consider requesting $5 (or another amount you deem appropriate) for your child to put towards purchasing a gift they really want, or to contribute to a charity of their choice.

Whether tackling just one of these green birthday party tips, or mastering all of them, every eco-friendly improvement makes an impact. Party ideas are often contagious—so any green changes you make will hopefully catch on quickly with other families. Simple steps can build momentum that leads to many positive changes and continued sustainable celebrations!

Christmastime! This is by far my favourite time of the year! But let me be clear—it’s the Christmas season I love, not so much the actual day.

Like most Moms, I love to see the excitement on my daughter’s face as she opens her gifts, and our time as a small family on Christmas morning is great. But then before I know it, it’s time to get into the kitchen to start the madness that will be Christmas dinner. And that’s usually when the fun ends.

No matter how much I prepare, delegate or try to scale down Christmas dinner, it still makes for a stressful afternoon in the kitchen. And it’s even more stressful once the extended family starts to arrive for dinner.

So, let’s get back to the part I do enjoy. The entire month leading up to Christmas, as well as the week after it! The activities around town, the celebrations put on by our school and friends. Even simply driving or walking around the city to see the creative yard displays our neighbours have come up with. I am one happy girl during the Christmas season!

We start pulling our Christmas decorations out of storage in the few weeks of November and then it’s ON! We certainly won’t be putting our neighbours to shame with our yard decorations though. A simple set of lights across the roof and around our door is enough for us. It’s the inside of the house where our magic happens. Our house may not be all that big but for six weeks of the year, it looks like a Christmas bomb went off.

Our tree is full of decorations from mine and my husband’s childhoods, as well as fun and unique finds we’ve added over the years. The last decade has provided even more ornaments.  From ornaments bought for my daughter’s first years as well as creations she has made at school and Christmas events. I’m surprised our tree hasn’t yet fallen down from all the weight of our décor!

But my favourite part of our décor is our Christmas village! If it were up to me, the Christmas village would stay up all year. Unfortunately, my husband disagrees. What started as a few houses and figurines placed on a shelf has grown to take over almost half of our living room—with several tables in place to hold it as well as some wooden pieces added as levels. It truly is a magical sight.

Our extended family is quite divided, mostly by distance, but also by varying levels of animosity over the years. So the extended family aspect of gathering for the holidays has always been a bit stressful. I even remember as a kid realizing there was a tense feeling around the Christmas Day celebration. So, when I had my daughter almost 10 years ago, I realized it was a chance for a fresh start. I haven’t been as successful in altering the Christmas Day stress as I had hoped but we still have a lot of fun during the magical Christmas season.

So, I’m off to sit in our living room, otherwise known during December as our Winter Wonderland, to enjoy the season with my family while I rest up for the craziness of Christmas Day.

When we first moved to Victoria from Ontario, my husband and I kept our winter shovel. The movers brought it into the house and jokingly asked “what is this?”. We all laughed, after all, Victoria is known for its cherry blossoms, gardens and balmy weather. But I’m pretty sure we’ve pulled out that snow shovel every single year. So, this year for winter, I decided to highlight some books. Books that celebrate that fluffy stuff and the fun things you can do when the weather turns cold.

The first book, Snow Song by A.K. Riley and Dawn Lo (Kids Can Press, 2020), is a love poem about snow. The adorable pictures and evocative phrases work together to remind (or introduce) your children to the beauty of snow. The book captures the way it feels to watch snow swirl through the trees. How snow blankets a frozen creek or create deep drifts as it chills our cheeks. For ages 4 to 7.

When you and your children have finished reading Snow Song, you may find yourselves wondering about snow. If so, check out The Story of Snow: The Science of Winter’s Wonder. Written by Mark Cassino and Jon Nelson with illustrations by Nora Aoyagi (Chronicle Books, 2021). As you can guess from the title, this is a non-fiction book that delves into the science of snow. Cassino and Nelson discuss why snowflakes have six sides, and teach you all sorts of fun tidbits, like the fact that snowflakes can be twins and columns. This is an easy to read book, that gives detailed answers to different questions without being overwhelming. For ages 4 to 7.

Even if it doesn’t snow this winter, we can still have fun in the cold. But, as PK learns in The Hockey Skates by Karl Subban and illustrated by Maggie Zeng (HarperCollins, 2023), it might just take some patience. Now that hockey season has arrived, PK is so excited to lace up the brand new skates his parents promised him and zip around on the backyard rink. But there’s just one problem: every time the store sends him the skates in the mail, they are the wrong pair. By the time the rink is ready, PK wonders if he will ever get the right skates. For ages 4 to 7.

PK isn’t the only one who is ready to lace up and get out on the rink. Beaver, Moose, and Bear are also super excited for the cold weather in Hockey in the Wild by Nicholas Oldland (Kids Can Press, 2020), because they want to play hockey. But these three friends don’t have to wait for their skates to arrive. They have to wait for the water to freeze, and it takes forever. Follow along with these three friends as they impatiently wait for the ice to be safe enough to skate on. For ages 4 to 7.

Perhaps winter isn’t your kid’s thing. Maybe they perpetually ask you when it will be spring. If that’s the case, then I recommend picking up Only the Trees Know by Jane Whittingham and illustrated by Cinyee Chiu (Kids Can Press, 2022). In this tale, a little rabbit is tired of winter. He wants to know when it will be spring. But, when he asks his parents, they just tell him it will happen eventually. Since that is not the answer he wants, he goes to ask his grandmama. Grandmama rabbit tells him that spring will come but only the trees know when, so he should ask them. He tries that but they don’t seem to answer. Like several other books in this list, this delightfully illustrated book will help your child learn about being patient, hopeful, and noticing the world around you.

Regardless of whether or not we get snow this year, I hope you are all able to stay warm as the weather turns cold. Perhaps you can climb onto the couch together, or cozy up in their bed and read some stories about snow, skating and the soon-to-come spring.

Capriccio Vocal Ensemble presents The Night Before the Night Before Christmas ON the night before the night before Christmas (Saturday, December 23) at Christ Church Cathedral. Special guests Festive Brass will also make an appearance at this family friendly event. Get your tickets for this holiday musical-spectacular soon. capriccio.ca

Let’s imagine for a minute: What would it be like if this holiday season and beyond, into 2023, we all collectively let go of expectations—those we have of others and, especially, of ourselves. Now I don’t mean expectations of good behaviour and basic responsibility, being kind and courteous, following safety rules, etc. I mean all the extras: the unspoken “shoulds” and the blatantly broadcast Insta-impossibilities.

Pressure to over-perform, whether at work, at home or socially is real, and it can be suffocating. The feeling is especially profound at this time of year.

Before every holiday season I try to give myself a little pep talk, reminders that the most important “things” are not things at all, and that it doesn’t need to be about endless baking or crafting or shopping.

However, as the season nears, I inevitably feel my anxiety stirring: “Am I doing enough? Have I put enough thought and effort into this gift to make up for the fact that it isn’t expensive? Will there be enough magical moments and core memory-making for my son?

Will it ever be enough? Will I ever be enough?”

Spending any amount of time-consuming modern media can certainly trigger and amplify these doubts. I know I’m a good mom, and my son’s safety, growth and happiness are my top priorities. I work hard to make sure he thrives and knows he is loved. My family and friends know I love them and I am here for them. I am kind and as generous as my means allow.

But even if I try to look at this objectively, all it takes is a few minutes on social media seeing what other moms are doing and I’m chastising myself for not doing more, more, more!

These are challenging times. Many are cinching financial belts a little tighter, and the pandemic has also inspired a lot of us to re-examine where we spend our soul-energy. Do we grind ourselves to death to do All. The. Things. or do we give more time to the experiences and people who bring us joy and recharge our batteries instead of draining them?

And do people we care about need us to turn ourselves inside-out to produce tangible “proof” that we love them, just because it is a particular time of year?

Absolutely not.

When I look way, WAY back to when I was my son’s age, my best memories are not those of how many “must-do” activities we crammed in over the holidays, or how perfect the table settings looked at Christmas dinner, or whether the Elf-on-the-Shelf entertained us sufficiently with its nightly hi-jinx. No way. I remember my grandpa’s jokes, my family’s laughter, my mom’s delicious baking (that she made because she actually loves baking), the comfort of recycled decorations and familiar rituals and the warmth of being together.

I don’t remember many of the presents I’ve received during my life, but I definitely remember how people have been present for me, with me. It’s such a clichéd statement: “Bring your “presence,” not “presents,” but I think a lot of us (including me!) need to re-examine this idea, that we don’t have to show up for people with all the doo-dads, bells, whistles and trimmings. We just have to really, authentically show up. And not just for the holidays, but throughout the year.

For me, this means checking in with people I love and spending time with them. Not having to have “something to do,” but just being there, together, doing everyday things or even nothing at all. This means listening to each other and helping where we can. This means not making myself cranky by overburdening myself with extra things I think I “should” do because everyone else is and instead soaking up the moments I have with my family and friends as they are, right now.

My son would likely not remember the hours of planning and work I could put into craft projects or perfectly colour-co-ordinated decorations. He would remember that Mama was busy and stressed out and doing things that he couldn’t be a part of.

Instead, I believe (and hope) he will remember all the games I play with him (that he usually beats me at), our rock-hounding adventures on the beach and hopefully our nightly stories when he snuggles in and we go on adventures together within the pages of a favourite book. These things don’t get as much of a chance to happen when there is too much doing, doing, doing and stuff, stuff, stuff.

This year I remind myself that going overboard does not make someone feel more special, or more loved. Connection does. So we might not have a Pintrest-worthy holiday display or piles of gifts, or particularly remarkable adventures to recount, but we will have laughter, and joy, and lots of love with our special people. And I think that is absolutely enough.

It’s easy to get caught up in the too muchness that comes with this time of year. Regardless of your personal holiday traditions, there are gifts for teachers, cards to be mailed, travel planning, parties and concerts. Once you get caught up in the whole winter season it can be hard to find that bit of space to relax.

In the past, my husband and I found our bit of space by dividing up the children’s concerts (one year we had five concerts in a span of two weeks). We’ve likewise juggled our party invitations. And last year we bought absolutely everyone the same gift (coffee shop gift cards work for teachers and grandparents)!

Here are three recipes that are designed for both comfort and relaxation. They are simple, healthy and delicious. Perfect for adding a bit of serenity to the season.

Light & Frothy 5-Minute Eggnog (Time: 5 minutes)

Whether you love store-bought eggnog or not, this recipe is for you. While the ingredients and flavours are similar to a carton of eggnog, this frothy drink is pretty different from the custard-based eggnog you are probably used to. Best of all, it only takes 5 minutes to prepare! It’s sure to be a new holiday favourite.

4 eggs (separated into yolks and whites)

1⁄3 cup of powdered sugar, to taste

2 cups milk

1 cup whipping cream

1 tsp freshly grated nutmeg

1. Separate the eggs, placing the yolks in a large bowl, and the whites in a container for whipping. (My stand mixer has a bowl, but a tall sided measuring cup works as well).

2. Beat egg yolks with a whisk until the colour starts to lighten (about 1 minute).

3. Add the sugar and stir until completely dissolved.

4. Stir in milk, cream, and nutmeg.

5. Whip the egg whites until they form stiff peaks. Don’t over mix or the foam will collapse. This is much quicker using an electric eggbeater or stand mixer. Just make sure your bowl has tall sides or it may splash as you whip.

6. When the egg whites are a nice thick foam, gently fold them into the egg yolk mixture. Serve immediately or refrigerate and serve within 3 hours. This recipe uses a lot less sugar than traditional eggnog, so if it’s not sweet enough, feel free to add a dusting of icing sugar.

7. This recipe contains raw eggs, so it is not recommended for pregnant women, children under the age of 1 year, or anyone who may be immunocompromised.

Cheesy Green Pancakes

Vegetable and cheese pancakes for dinner? Yes please! This easy meal packs all the food groups into a form that kids love. If you think your kids might balk at the onion and garlic, then feel free to skip it. But it really adds a lot of flavour to these pancakes.

Pancakes

1 bunch of greens

3 Tbsp of diced onion (chard, kale or spinach)

1 clove of garlic

3 eggs

1 cup of ricotta or cottage cheese

2 Tbsp oil

1⁄2 cup flour

1⁄2 tsp salt

Toppings

Cheddar cheese

Sliced tomato

Scrambled eggs

Sour cream

Bacon bits

Diced green onion

1. Wash and trim the greens, removing the stems. You want about 3 cups of loosely packed greens.

2. Place the greens in a blender with the onion and garlic. Add the eggs, cheese and oil. Blend until the greens are fully pureed. Add the flour and salt. Pulse a few more times to fully mix.

3. Warm a frying pan on medium heat.

4. Pour in 1⁄4 cup of batter.

5. The pancake is ready to flip when it is bubbling in the middle and dry around the edges. Flip, then cook the other side for about 1 minute.

6. Serve immediately or keep warm in a 300°F oven until all the pancakes are ready to serve.

7. We enjoy eating these pancakes like open-faced sandwiches with cheese, tomato and egg. They’re also delicious with baked potato toppings.

Turkish Red Lentil Soup (Time: 30 minutes)

I first encountered this particular red lentil soup when cycling through northern Turkey. It was the only thing available for dinner at the local bar/restaurant/cafe that was the only place to eat in the small town where we were staying. At the time, it felt the most amazing dish I had ever enjoyed. Likely a healthy dose of hunger was one of the main ingredients. Regardless, it is still one of my favourite comfort meals.

A simple, one-pot dish that is warmly flavoured (without being too spicy). The red paprika oil isn’t necessary, but it does add a bit of seasonality to this otherwise very easy dish.

Soup:

1⁄4 cup olive oil

2 large onions

2 large carrots

1 can of tomato paste

1 Tbsp cumin

2 tsp paprika

1 tsp dried mint

1⁄2 tsp thyme

1⁄2 tsp oregano

1⁄2 tsp black pepper

2 cups red lentils

4 cups water

4 cups broth

1 tsp salt, to taste

Red paprika oil:

1⁄4 cup olive oil

1 Tbsp paprika (sweet or hot)

1⁄2 tsp red pepper flakes

1. Chop the onion and carrots. They don’t need to be finely diced as the soup is pureed before serving.

2. Saute the vegetables in olive oil until the onions are sweating, about 3 minutes.

3. Add in the herbs and spices and toss to coat the vegetables. Then add in the tomato paste, stir and cook for 1 minute.

4. Add in the lentils, water, broth and salt. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to medium. Cover the pot halfway with the lid and leave it to simmer until the lentils have fallen apart, about 15 minutes.

5. Meanwhile, make the paprika oil by mixing the oil, paprika and red pepper flakes together in a small pot. Warm the oil on medium until you see the paprika just starting to bubble, immediately remove from the heat and set aside.

6. When the lentils are cooked, puree the soup with a stick blender or traditional blender. Taste and add more salt if necessary. The exact amount will depend on the saltiness of the broth.

7. Serve with a drizzle of paprika oil.

Nurture a magical relationship with our living world

Does bringing greenery indoors and gathering around a fire bring you joy as the days darken? These are ancient rituals from a time when our ancestors called back the sun. Practices, ceremonies and reverence for light and our living world have always been in our bones. They are also yours to reclaim.

What is winter solstice?

Winter solstice marks the beginning of winter.

Today, we know the science behind the shortest day and longest night of the year. The Earth’s axis tilts away from the sun, leaving the northern hemisphere with less light (and heat) than the southern hemisphere. Before humans understood the Earth tilts and moves around the sun, many cultures performed special rituals and ceremonies to bring back the light. Some believed evil spirits made the sun go away. They looked to their gods and ritual.

Winter solstice is full of mystery and wonder. It was a time to communicate with the elements and all living things, a day of the sun’s rebirth.

Why is ritual still important?

We know why the days grow shorter, changing position of the Earth in relation to the sun. And we can still be bound by a magical relationship to bring light to the darkest day of the year.

“Ritual and ceremony save us from having to rely on concept to understand what we are doing or explain what we mean. When we perform a ceremony, we enact what we mean. Having performed our ritual, we can see what we are invoking in this very present moment. When we perform a heartfelt ceremony or ritual, we cannot distinguish the symbolism — the chant, the gesture, the shrine — from what it symbolizes. In fact, ritual is always how we join heaven and earth in our lives.” Acharya Daniel Hessey and Walker Blaine

If you haven’t yet embraced a specific winter solstice ritual, it’s okay. How you mark December 21 may be like traditions already alive in your home and family.

Eight winter solstice rituals to try this year:

Evergreens. Bring the outside in. Plants surviving winter were symbols of life! Use evergreens to make wreaths to hang on doors and adorn mantles. Celts added mistletoes on altars.

Light. Bonfires signaled the rebirth of the sun. Some traditions sang and danced around them to drive the dark away. Find ways to celebrate light. Make lanterns from ice or mason jars. Eat supper or host a games night by candlelight. Make your own beeswax or soy wax candles. Watch my DIY YouTube video, “Make your own (non-toxic) candles” when I was David Suzuki’s Queen of Green™. In some traditions, candles (and golden apples) were placed on bare tree branches outside. Sound familiar?

Food. Some cultures had feasts while others fasted. Try an early wake up to greet the sunrise. Find a great vantage point to enjoy tea or hot chocolate. Bring a friend or another family.

Nature. Offer a gesture to give back to nature, like feeding the birds. Black oiled sunflower seeds (in the shell) attract chickadees, finches and nuthatches. Shelled peanuts are a Steller’s Jay favourite!

Walk. Find a local labyrinth or make one in the snow, with stones or lanterns. A spiral walk can be meditative, allowing you to go inward. Make it meaningful by setting an intention as you walk or name what you want to let go. Make it kid-friendly. Invite kids to notice the warmth of the sun on their face or tune into how the sun lights up the world around them.

Lore. Research how your ancestors and culture celebrated. Learn the lore. Don’t know where to start? Look up books, poems, and stories of The Deer Mother. At winter solstice, this female reindeer drew the sleigh of the sun goddess. She flew through the darkest night with the life-giving light of the sun in her horns.

Stories. We are storied people. A friend shared a ritual of staying up weaving stories to keep each other company through the night—a way to celebrate, hold reverence and watch the light return in community. Early stories were kid-friendly, with children participating. After kid bedtime adults told deeper, more layered stories to air grief, pain, joy, and transformation. The evening buzzes with magic and shared company. The stories help us find belonging in the world and with each other.

How will you celebrate winter solstice?

Book Recommendations:

The Shortest Day: Celebrating the Winter Solstice by Wendy Pfeffer

We Learn from the Sun by David Bouchard

The Shortest Day by Susan Cooper

The decorations started appearing during the lazy, hazy days of summer—glints of tinsel and multi-coloured lights, side-by-side with water toys and Halloween candy, a chilling reminder that “winter is coming,” and with it, The Holiday Season.

But isn’t it, “the most wonderful time of the year?”

Well, not for everyone. For many people it can be an incredibly stressful, triggering, and even grief-laden ordeal to be survived. Even those of us who don’t have any specific dark or sad association with The Holidays can find it anxiety-provoking to see our social schedules fill up and to-do lists grow. And, of course, this whole global pandemic situation isn’t helping stress levels!

Over the years, I’ve felt myself grow cynical in the face of rampant consumerism and the artificially inflated expectations of this time of year. I know I didn’t always feel this way, and while my son was younger and experiencing many “firsts,” I reconnected with a sense of magic and wonder through his eyes. But now he’s reached an age where he’s focused on toys, toys, toys. I feel like any kind of meaning is slipping away, chased out by an avaricious Gimme Monster.

I can’t let that happen, so I’m digging deep this year, trying to reclaim some meaning (and hopefully, joy!) in the season that is fast-approaching, for myself as well as my son.

December and early January host important celebratory days for a number of religions. My family is not religiously affiliated, but there is still plenty to celebrate, and ways to help my son learn to embrace a sort of magic that brings even better gifts than Santa. This magic includes the tenacity of hope, new beginnings, connection with others, comfort during uncertain times, the pleasure of giving, and the nostalgic continuum of collective family memory.

Winter, as the literal (and often psychologically) darkest time of the year, actually heralds brighter days ahead—the return of the sun. Acknowledging the Winter Solstice always reminds me that, as dark as things might seem, better times will return, as surely as the sun rises and sets. Festooning our home with bright lights and colours both celebrates this and makes the dark days more bearable.

Several years ago we had a beach fire on the solstice. A lady walking by asked us if we were letting go of things to prepare for the new year. We were, in fact, introducing my son to the culinary brilliance of S’mores, but it sounded like a great idea. We each wrote down several feelings, circumstances, or ideas that we wanted to leave behind and threw them into the flames. It felt wonderful! A solstice beach fire this year is definitely in the cards.

Another thing I genuinely look forward to is decorating our tree. Not the putting-up-the-lights-part (gak!), but the annual reunion with our lovingly stowed-away ornaments and their attached nostalgia. Sharing these memories with my son passes on family culture and history, and also presents an opportunity to remember loved ones who have passed on. I eagerly anticipate the moment when he holds up one of the ornaments to which he has an attachment and says, “Mama, I remember….”

Decorating is one of many winter rituals in our home, undertaken in a similar way each year. There is something deliciously comforting about knowing what comes next, even for a short time. Other family rituals at this time include baking cookies, snowshoeing, reading certain stories, sharing yummy food, and watching favourite seasonal movies (Christmas Vacation, anyone?).

Engaging in these activities together triggers memories of happy times past and creates new memories for the ‘bank’ that we can draw from in years to come.

The holidays are known, and often disparaged, for their excess, especially at a time of year when those who struggle to get by are really struggling. I am so grateful for what we have and try to vocalize this often in front of my son. I want us to exercise the ethic of gratitude, and pair it with the spirit of giving.

I’m not sure exactly how it will look this year, but I think it’s important to include my son in the planning of how we can share some of our abundance. How we can give to others to help make their lives better in some way, even for a little while? I have a feeling that even considering this question together will be a powerful exercise, and I’m looking forward to hearing some of my son’s ideas.

In fact, after writing this, I find that I’m actually looking forward to the upcoming holiday season. After all, experiences are what we make of them.