Leaving your kid home alone for the first time is a rite of passage—for them and for you. But how do you know if they’re ready? Are they responsible enough to handle an hour solo without turning your kitchen into a science experiment gone wrong?

Here are nine things to consider before you make your decision.

1. Consider Age vs. Maturity

While there’s no magic age when your child can be safely left on their own, experts generally suggest kids under 10 shouldn’t be left alone. That said, some 12-year-olds would lose their heads if it wasn’t attached, while some nine-year-olds could probably file your taxes. It’s about maturity, not just the number of candles on their last birthday cake.

2. How Will They Handle Snack Time?

If your child’s idea of “cooking” is eating dry cereal straight from the box, they might not be ready for solo snack duty. If they can whip up a simple snack without setting off the smoke alarm (or leaving a mess that looks like a tornado hit the kitchen), they’re on the right track.

3. Do They Have Emergency Know-How?

Run a pop quiz: “What do you do if a stranger knocks on the door?” If their answer is anything other than “Don’t open it,” you might need to go over Home Alone 101 again. They need to be able to recite emergency numbers, your phone number and at least two other numbers of family members, friends or neighbours who live close by. They should also know where you keep the first aid kit and how to use it.

4. Do a Mini Test Run

Before heading out for a whole evening, start small. Run to the grocery store for 15 minutes and see what happens. If you come back and everything is as you left it, that’s a great sign. If your living room now resembles an art project gone wrong, they might need a little more time. Try extending the test to a quick coffee run before leaving them alone for longer stretches.

5. Are They Comfortable Being Alone?

This is a very important question. Even if your child seems responsible enough, ask them if they are comfortable being alone. Some kids love the idea until they’re home alone and start imagining every creak is a burglar. If they’re nervous, ease into it with short absences before jumping to a full evening away. Remind them that the “monsters” they hear are probably just the fridge making weird noises.

6. Will They Be in Charge of Siblings?

Leaving one kid alone is one thing, but if they have younger siblings, the game changes. If your older child is mature enough to watch their younger siblings without turning the house into a WWE arena, that’s great. If they still argue over who breathes too loudly, maybe rethink that plan. Also, make sure they understand their role isn’t to “parent” their sibling but to keep things in order—no drastic haircut experiments or extreme bossiness allowed.

7. Have You Gone Over the Rules?

Make sure they know what’s off-limits (the stove, answering the door, roller skating in the house, etc). And make sure you agree upon a check-in plan—whether it’s calling you after an hour or sending a periodical “still alive, no disasters” text.

8. Do You Have a Backup Plan?

Even if your kid is ready to be home alone, it’s useful to have a backup plan–at least the first few times. Things happen—the Wi-Fi fails, the dog escapes or a random panic sets in. Make sure a nearby friend, relative or neighbour is on standby just in case. It’ll give you peace of mind knowing your child has someone to call for help if needed.

9. Trust Your Gut

At the end of the day, you know your kid best. If you have that nagging feeling they’re not quite ready, trust it. There’s no rush—eventually, they’ll be begging you to leave them alone so they can blast their music and eat snacks in peace. If your gut says they’re ready, take a deep breath and embrace this new independent phase.

Leaving your child home alone is a big step for both of you. Start small, prepare them well and embrace the moment when you realize you can finally run errands by yourself.

The other day, someone approached me at the pool: “Are you Julia?” she asked.

I knew by the way she asked that she was someone etched in my memory but looking at her face I couldn’t place her. “What’s your name?” I ventured, hoping to jog my memory. “Mariam.”

It immediately fell into place. “Oh yeah, we went to elementary school together.” We chatted while my six-year-old got bored and periodically asked for me to play with her.

Mariam’s eight-year-old approached us with a twirl, “watch me mom!”

“I’m having a conversation right now,” Mariam responded. “But you have to watch me, you’re my mom!” the eight-year-old insisted.

Mariam just chuckled. “Can you imagine if I ever said that to my parents, with how strict they were?”

Could I imagine? Until that point in the conversation, I had only remembered her on a peripheral level—she was in French immersion, friends with Natalie and Sofie. Until that point, when she’d spoken as if I were in her inner circle, I had forgotten that we had hung out quite a lot—that I’d even been to her house several times. A few images flashed back: sitting at her dining room table while her dad served us kebabs, religious paintings on the walls, rowdy big brothers who always picked on her, her mom watching the news on TV, hanging out in Mariam’s bedroom. There was nothing in these memories that reminded me of her family being strict as she implied, but of course, I was only a visitor swooping in and seeing a snippet of her life.

Now that my daughter has started having playdates, I’ve realized what a privilege it is to be invited into someone’s home, what a leap they are taking when they let you in. Let you in to see the intimate day-to-day life of their family.

When my daughter started kindergarten, she asked if her friend Maia could come over. I frantically cleaned—not because it was too messy for my liking, but because I didn’t want Maia going to school the next day saying, “her house was so gross.” I could just imagine the shame if she told her classmates, “I saw her mom’s underwear on the bathroom floor. Eww!”

Seeing a playmate’s home is a window into another life. What’s that person really like? What’s their life outside of school? What are the house rules? Are they allowed jalapeño poppers and pizza pockets for after-school snack? Or does their mom present soccer oranges and kale chips? Can we eat in the bedroom? Do I feel safe or do the parents seem weird? Do they let us watch TV?

During one playdate, a little girl asked about a picture on the wall. It was a framed photo of my husband’s religious leader. I had a moment of panic. I remembered being at friends’ houses seeing pictures of Christ on the cross and thinking how strange that seemed to me, coming from an atheist household. How different that family seemed. It didn’t occur to me that now my multi-faith family might seem “weird” for another kid. That we might be the odd ones out. Just as I started to explain the significance of the picture to the little girl, she moved onto my daughter’s “special drawer” and started examining her favourite rocks and prizes from trips to the dentist.

I thought back to Mariam’s house from an adult lens. How hard it must have been being one of the few racialized kids in a white suburban neighbourhood. How this was one of the few townhouses I had been in as a privileged kid. How Mariam might have been self-conscious that her dad was serving kebabs instead of Kraft Dinner. I wondered what had been happening geopolitically in the ’90s that led her immigrant mom to be constantly watching the news. How the family handled moving to Canada with three kids.

Last year, my daughter had a friendship that turned south. When she lost her friend and we fell out with the family, I thought, “Oh no, they’ve seen everything. They know so much about me. They know that we have toys out of bins and an overbearing grandma and sports bras that are out drying on the rack. They’ve seen it all and now I don’t know if I can trust them. Will the entire class know that our house has spiders in the basement? Will this kid tell all the others about my patterned sports bra?”

How will my daughter’s classmates remember our home when they are grown up and run into her at the pool? Will Maia look back and think, “those parents were always on their computers, or they always gave us tasty Costco quiches, or they promised me mac and cheese and the water took forever to boil and I was so hungry?” Will she make the type of friends who like us despite our mess? Because of it?

Will they think back and remember “that home had a nice atmosphere, or her parents seemed like they really cared about her, or that was such a warm environment to be in?”

I hope so. Or maybe they will just block it out completely. Not wonder at all. After all, it’s just another playdate. Just another home.

Just another mom trying her best.

Are your kids ready to start taking transit by themselves or with friends? BC Transit wants to help your kids stay safe while riding the bus and offer lots of great tips with their Bus Ready program. Read through the online guide and watch the videos with your kids to learn bus stop safety, bus etiquette and everything else you need to know for a safe ride on BC transit. There are even fun games and activities your kids can complete to help them become bus ready.

busready.bctransit.com

Are you or your kids struggling with getting back to school after a long summer? Here are some apps that’ll get everyone in the family ready for the school year!

1. Lala Lunchbox

Save time, save money, save sanity. That’s the premise behind Lala Lunchbox, a meal planning app that has been said to “Ingeniously pull your kids in by turning meal planning into a game.” Not only will it help your kids develop a very valuable life-skill, they’ll love doing it as well. Who knew making school lunches could be so much fun? lalalunchbox.com

2. AIM2BE

Help your kids move towards being their best selves and conquering their back-to-school goals. Designed for families, Aim2Be aligns with Canadian health and physical activity recommendations. Discover proven strategies to help you and your family be more mindful, eat healthier and learn everyday strategies to move more. aim2be.ca

3. Habatica

This “gamified task manager” makes a game out of habit-forming activities and uses its multiple task-tracking features to encourage follow-though. Kids and parents set to-dos and tasks such as brushing their teeth and leaving for school on time—when the tasks are complete, kids earn gear for their avatars and defeat monsters. habitica.com

4. Remember the Milk

Another task and schedule manager, this app includes a Smart Add feature that makes it easy to enter new tasks to schedule and includes space for details such as due date and priority. Make lists, organize using colorful tags and opt to receive reminders, among other possibilities. rememberthemilk.com

5. Calm Kids

A specific subsection of the mindfulness and meditation app Calm, Calm Kids helps soothe and de-stress kids after a crazy day at school—or any other stressful situation, for that matter. Choose from short meditations or create longer calming routines for your kids within the app. calm.com

Just got into the swing of summer and now it’s time to start preparing for back to school? Don’t sweat about it! There’s still time to squeeze a little more fun out of summer while gearing up for the fall and getting ready for back to school. Here’s how to beat the back-to-school blues:

1. Plan an Island Adventure Scavenger Hunt

Organize a scavenger hunt with clues that lead to various outdoor locations in your neighborhood—or even a farther flung area on the Island. Incorporate fun facts and learning opportunities into the clues to make it not only fun but educational, too. (Where can you find an Elasmosaurus dinosaur? Answer: Courtney District Museum…then go there!). Or organize a hunt that follows with the route to school.

2. Schedule a Backyard/Back Porch Camping Night

Set up a mini campground in your backyard—or even on your back porch or living room floor—to bid farewell to summer vacation and hello to the soon-to-be school routine. Pitch a tent/string a tarp, sing campfire songs (sans campfire!) tell ghost stories (if you dare!) and stargaze.

3. Make a DIY Summer Memory Collage

Have kids create a visual representation of their favourite summer memories. Give them craft supplies—a scrapbook or paper, markers, stickers, photos and any other souvenirs/ticket stubs/shells etc they may have collected over the summer— and encourage them create a collage showcasing their favourite summer memories.

4. Family Learning Excursions

Plan educational outings as a family to Island museums, historical sites or parks. Hand of Man, Royal BC Museum, Miniature World, Fort Rodd Hill, Nanaimo Museum and The Bastion and Port Alberni Railway, to name a few, will spark kids’ curiosity, helping them switch gears from summer to school.

5. Organize a “Get Ready for School” Party

Turn the process of preparing for school into a fun and collaborative activity. Let your kids invite their friends over to organize school supplies, decorate backpacks or create personalized calendars. Turn it into a party, a celebration of sorts, with music, snacks and maybe an end-of-summer sleepover to fight school blues.

6. Go on Nature Walks and Beach Explorations

Still have a few places you meant to get to this summer but haven’t yet? Botanical Beach? Strathcona Park? Englishman River Falls. Go now! While you’re there, challenge kids to identify different plant species, collect shells or study tidal pools.

7. Create a Quiet and/or Creative Corner

Okay so it doesn’t have to be in a corner but having a special space for not only homework and reading, but being creative, contemplative or just plain quiet is a great thing for kids to have to help calm the chaos of back to school. Take some time before the school year begins to set up the space and help kids customize it so that it suits their needs.

As surely as the seasons cycle, September means back-to-school. The abrupt change from long, care-free days of summer holidays to rigid schedules, bag lunches and homework can be stressful. Here are some suggestions to help make this transition—and the school year—more positive for kids and parents.

School Supplies

1. Reuse, Reuse, Reuse—It is shocking how many barely-used or new school supplies end up in school dumpsters in June. Make sure your kids bring everything home, sort through it together and reuse what is salvageable. It will save you money in the long-term. Bonus, it helps kids learn to take care of their stuff.

2. Label, Label, Label—When I was in elementary school, one of my August rituals was to label my supplies. I still have pencil crayons from 30 (cough cough) years ago. In busy classrooms things fall on the ground or are misplaced all the time, but at end-of-day cleanup, kids with labelled supplies usually get them back.

3. Quality Over Cool—Trendy gizmos come and go (and often break shortly after purchase). Better to stock up on quality-but-plainer supplies on sale and let your kiddos personalize them.

4. Dole it Out Sparingly—Fact: classrooms are crowded places with minimal storage. Only send your child with what they need to start and send more as necessary. Less will go missing into The Void.

Clothing

5. “New” is So Passé—Thank goodness “thrifting” has become a cool thing to do. You’ll save dollars, help local charities and keep clothes out of the landfill.

6. Label, Label, Label some more!—Before holidays, school classes participate in a slow procession through the halls: the “Viewing of the Lost.” So. Many. Things. You’d think children would recognize their possessions. Nope. Most end up being sent to the thrift store. Unless, of course, they are clearly labelled.

Feeding Bodies and Minds:

7. Plan Ahead—Two words: meal planning. It saves money, time and the daily stress of “What’s for dinner?” When my step-kids were school-age we sat down as a family every Sunday for 15 minutes and planned out the week’s meals. The kids loved having input and it made shopping super easy. You can do this for lunches, too!

8. Beat the Lunch-Time Blues—Depending on their age, many kids can make their own lunches. If you’re afraid that these lunches might consist of last year’s Halloween candy or dry slices of white bread, set some guidelines (ex. one item from each food group) and make sure there are healthy choices on hand.

9. Bulk vs Snack Size—Individually portioned snacks for kids are marketed as a time-saving godsend, however, they are expensive and create piles of garbage (that, in turn, decorates school playgrounds). Small re-usable containers or snack pouches can be filled from a bulk or family-sized box, saving money and packaging.

Keeping Everyone Happy

10. Family Calendar—Invest in a BIG family calendar and keep it in a central location. This helps with planning, logistics and also shifts the family knowledge-keeping burden from one person (ahem, Mom) to everyone.

11. Less is More—When adults spread ourselves too thin we get tired, cranky, overwhelmed, etc. Kids can feel the same way. Instead of doing all the activities, choose one or two per season. Life won’t be as hectic and everyone benefits from breathing space (especially in September!)

12. Foster a Growth Mindset—Instead of focusing on grades, encourage your child to reflect on their own learning. What can they do more confidently than they did before? What makes learning easier for them? How can they extend themselves? If a child is stuck on “I can’t,” try using psychologist Carol Dweck’s technique of tacking on a “yet”: “I can’t YET.”

13. Sleep Hygiene Saves Sanity—Schedules and sleep get out of whack during summer. That first week of grumpy tumbles out of bed and grumpier after-school restraint collapse might be more manageable if you start easing back into a bedtime/wake-up routine a couple of weeks beforehand. A good night’s sleep makes everything easier. For everyone.

Communication is Key

14. Teacher = Partner—Many parents wait for official conferences or when a problem arises to meet their child’s teacher, but a friendly intro during the first week (even via email) is a great idea. Establishing a positive connection early on leads to clearer communication and helps everyone to remember that we are all on the same team, your child’s.

15. Lecturing Isn’t Listening—Parents are problem-solvers and behaviour tutors, but sometimes our kids don’t need us to offer advice or constructive criticism. Sometimes they just need to be heard and accepted, no matter what. September is a doozy of a month with so much change and new expectations. You might have to adjust your own expectations a little, at least for the first couple of weeks. Kids adapt quickly, and knowing that they have your unconditional love and support makes all the difference.

Starting school.

It’s a big step—simultaneously heart-breaking, nerve-wracking, exciting, and everything else along the way. There’s no mistaking it for a major milestone.

Once you’re over that initial first day pride and terror; after that, comes The First Term.

Look I’m sure it will go smoothly and happily for you and your child, but it is a huge adjustment and even if your child isn’t having tantrums the entire way home (normal), it is very likely that you may want to make some changes to your daily schedule to keep the weeks positive, especially as the first term will likely coincide with worsening weather and darker nights.

Here are my top six ways to make life easier from the outset:

1. Have a big hug

Even if the new school is a totally happy place for your child, they are navigating a lot during the day. It’s a long day out! They will be eating lunch, navigating classroom rules, playgrounds, friendships.

When they come home, they need to transition back to a sense of home and calm: sometimes that first half an hour can be a bit fractious (i.e., a total fiasco). I tried a few things to improve the transition period‚ a fun activity set up, play-dates, food—but actually, I think the most effective way to make sure your child feels comfortable and relaxed, is just to sit down immediately and have a really big hug.

2. Think across the senses

Listen to some familiar music or burn a familiar candle—in the mornings and again when they first get home from school. This can help kids feel calm and secure. In case you needed any more excuses to buy candles.

3. Eat

Kids might need an energy boost after school with an extra snack—either on the way home or after you arrive, but you will be surprised/horrified how quickly a one-off treat becomes a non-negotiable requirement, so unless you want to be completely beholden to bringing a snack to every pick-up, approach this with caution (or at least be aware of what you are letting yourself in for).

4. Be flexible

You might need to shift your evening routine forward for a while; if ever there was a moment to be flexible, this is it. If you are battling a terribly grumpy mood all evening after school this is likely pure exhaustion and an earlier bedtime might be essential.

Similarly, you might want to consider making concessions in areas you usually stand firm. For example, I wrote this with our 5-year-old asleep next to me on our bed. This wasn’t a nightly routine, but on the odd occasion, with no real danger of forming any bad habits, a bit of extra security can be helpful during the transition period.

5. Take time off

Two fold: from school, and from your usual social routines.

Obviously the former might not be an option for you but if it is, then consider keeping things fluid and not expecting too much in the first term. If your child is really struggling and you are at home, or working flexibly from home, then there’s nothing wrong with keeping them off school for a day (or a morning). Being 4 or 5 and exhausted is a pretty good reason for some recuperation time.

Don’t feel the pressure to keep up on play-dates either. They are socializing all day and might just need to be quietly at home after school. This news is exceptionally welcome if you, like me, are deeply antisocial.

6. Game face

This is probably the most important bit and one I remind myself of, frequently. Whatever your thoughts, worries or reservations, you need to seem totally calm, in control, and happy about the set up. Your child needs to know that you have this covered and that they are in a safe and happy place in order to be confident themselves.

Have a hug, burn a candle, eat nice food, give yourself a break, take time off and above all else, fake it ’til you feel it.

As we shift into thinking about a new school year, you may be feeling more hopeful than at this point last year. You also may be feeling uncomfortable with not knowing exactly what school will look like and how your children will cope. The word “resilience” has come up a lot in conversations about life following COVID. Resilience has been defined as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” Resilience is not something that we are born with. It is something that develops over time through our experiences, the world around us, our families and our own traits and skills.

Would you consider yourself to be resilient? What about your children? What makes some people more resilient than others? How can I support my children to become more resilient?

These are all questions that challenge us to look at our interactions and wellbeing from a different perspective. Resilience is when a person can not only bounce back following stress or change, but they have also learned from the experience and can “bounce back better.” They are then more likely able to cope with the next stressor that comes along.

So how does one “build resilience?” The good news is that there are a number of ways that have been suggested, and that building one’s “toolbox” and nurturing resilience is something that can be done at any age. We know that we cannot take away challenges that our children will face and that some will face more than others, but if we can tip the scales with skills and support, then our children are more likely to flourish.

Supportive Adults

All articles about resilience point to how important it is for children to have supportive adults in their lives. This can be a parent, caregiver, grandparent or other adult. Guiding children through challenges is not always easy, and it is a daily practice in how we speak to children and help them see their own strengths.

Some of you may be familiar with Growth Mindset and it is a concept that is supported by teachers. Basically, it is the idea that brains are developing and able to grow. The language with Growth Mindset is similar to reframing, or learning to think about things in different ways. It is helping children to know that where they are today does not have to be where they are tomorrow. Abilities can grow when we work through challenges, just as how we feel about ourselves will grow through the positive stories that we collect about ourselves.

Children learn this language and about their unique abilities from the caring adults around them. You can help them to reframe difficult experiences as growing and learning opportunities and not as something to halt them in their path toward a bright future.

Reduce Stress

Not all stress is bad, but too much of it can take a toll on health and wellbeing. Stress is contagious. Your children will know and feel your stress. For your children and yourself, try to reduce stress as much as possible. Children will take your lead in learning how to deal with stress in positive ways. Self care is talked about a lot but simply put, it is about taking care of yourself and giving yourself a break when you need it. Try building in caring routines during this back-to-school time for yourself and your children. Get plenty of sleep, practice gratitude, get active every day and most importantly, find fun and laughter as often as possible.

It is also very important to know when to reach out for help. If the stress is too great for you to deal with on your own, reach out for support. Check Islandhealth.ca to find out about mental health services.

Keep Connections

The importance of connection with family, friends and loved ones is recognized now more than ever. The ways in which we connect have been very different since the beginning of the pandemic but people have found creative ways to maintain relationships. There are many ways to tell and show someone that you care. There is no end to the ideas that you can find online!

Other essential connections are those with nature and with cultural practices and traditions. Research is now telling us that our connection to nature can make us happier and healthier. This is for people of all ages. For children, more teachers are building in outdoor learning and more schools have school gardens. The walk or ride to and from school can also be a chance to interact with nature, watch the changing of the seasons, notice the birds and bugs; just remember to prepare for all weather.

Cultural connections for children give them a sense of self and a knowledge of where they come from and where they belong. Nurture that connection at home and find out how you can share it in school. Language, food, arts and celebrations are all wonderful learning connections for classes of students. Ask the teachers how you can support the learning.

As we move into another school year, let’s all support our children and one another so that the stamp of COVID only brings about positive change and a brighter future for all our children.

Resources:

What You Think—and Say—is Crucial for Your Child’s Life “Reframing” could help your child become happier and more resilient: psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-danish-way/201806/what-you-think-and-say-is-crucial-your-childs-life

How to Help Families and Staff Build Resilience During the COVID-19 Outbreak: developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/how-to-help-families-and-staff-build-resilience-during-the-covid-19-outbreak

Raising Resilient Children and Youth: camh.ca/en/health-info/guides-and-publications/raising-resilient-children

Roughly 80 per cent of classroom learning is vision based. As the new school year begins, make sure your child has the right visual tools and set-up they need to have a successful learning experience. One out of four children struggle with vision and learning due to undiagnosed vision issues or inefficiencies. Our visual system performs optimally and is less likely to experience stress under the right conditions. When your child is doing school work at home, make sure that they are set up for success. Here are some tips to create a positive learning environment for your child at home:

Desk and Chair

Let’s start with the hardware. When seated at a desk, the feet should be able to rest flat on the floor when the back is pushed to the back of the seat. This will create three 90-degree angles in the ankles, knees, and hips. If your child’s feet do not touch the floor, use books under their feet to achieve a 90-degree angle.

Posture

Using a slant board will move materials in line with the face to improve reading. Research has found this angle to be 22 degrees. I imagine that you rarely carry a protractor so instead imagine that you’ve picked up a book to skim the cover in a bookstore—how you are holding the book is likely very close to 22 degrees naturally as this is the most comfortable for our visual system.

Distance

The optimal viewing distance for reading and near work is called Harmon’s Distance. This is the distance between a closed fist resting just under the chin and the elbow. The distance will be slightly different person-to-person depending on size. This allows the eye focusing mechanism to perform optimally. Even a few centimeters closer will start to ramp up the demand on the system and increase eye strain and fatigue.

Lighting

In my nine years in optometry, I have often heard the question: “Will reading in the dark hurt my eyes?”  And the answer is NO…but YES? Although it will not structurally hurt an eye, it certainly will cause your child to bring the pages closer to see and increase eyestrain. A directional light (for example a desk lamp) will allow them to evenly light the page.

Breaks

Our visual system was not designed for long periods of near work. Taking frequent breaks will prevent it from getting “locked” on the near task. I would recommend the 20/20/20 rule: every 20 minutes, take 20 seconds to look 20 feet away. These short breaks reduce the tendency of the focusing muscles to become cramped.

Outdoors

Even though the weather is about to turn sour, active outdoor play is still an important part of visual development. An hour of distance play outside has been shown to be protective against the development of near-sightedness.

Glasses

Of course, all these efficiency factors are not terribly important if your child cannot see well.  A comprehensive eye examination looks at not just the sharpness of letters, but the ability to sustain this during a full school day and overall eye health. Glasses can be used to optimally position visual systems for reading or help to improve sleep cycles by block blue light from screens. Keep in mind that although vision screenings are useful, they are not a replacement for an assessment with your optometrist.

So good luck to us all in the new school year! I am filled with optimism for the 2021–22 school year but am prepared for any changes that may come our way.

Did you send your kids back to school? That’s the question we asked four Island Parent writers. Here are their answers and how they reached their decision on whether or not to send their kids back to school.

Despite reading an awful lot about virus spread, infection risk and so on, I am still, very much, not medically qualified. And so my family’s decisions are less to do with health and safety than they are to do with ensuring our five children have the happiest year possible, during a time of great personal and global upheaval.

I might not be a medical expert, but I am mum to the power of five, and as I write this, it is six months since our schools closed and we started living in this new world. That means, my youngest son, 18 months, has spent a third of his life socially distanced. My four-year-old, 12.5 per cent …you get the idea.

Since the pandemic began, we have plucked our children from their routine-based lives, separated them from extended family members, thrown them into a home-based life with stressed adults who constantly mutter about viruses. Now we awant to push them back out into a world that is in many respects, unrecognizable.

I can’t imagine how children, however adaptable, will reconcile their return to school amidst such change, with new rules around where they can go, who they can be close to, and how they are expected to behave with others.

All of the social norms that we have been modelling for children—from handshakes, to visiting people’s homes, to hugging—have been demolished. Reintroducing school adds another layer, with policies that, for example, keep parents out of the classroom. That might be necessary for safety, but it will be difficult for some children, especially younger children, or those who find transitions difficult.

That said, schools are making enormous efforts to keep students and staff safe. But those measures require compliance and physical space—not always easy for early elementary-aged children.

Because our family is willing and able to take this year away from the classroom, we can, in turn, increase the space available for those who want and need to be at school. To us it seems that staying home could even have a net positive contribution.

Worries about returning aside, I am excited about the chance to be involved with my children’s learning more closely. We’re excited to make the most of educating from home, especially at home on a beautiful island, able to enjoy spectacular scenery at our doorstep. This is an opportunity to homeschool without it even being seen as a niche approach to schooling. Distance learning and registered homeschoolers numbers are seeing a huge increase, worldwide.

For us, the difficult part of the sudden school closures this year wasn’t really the isolation, or the remote learning, or even the queues for toilet paper. Our children, like many of us, struggled most with the uncertainty about what would happen next. This uncertainty isn’t over. After such a tumultuous and unsettled six months, we are all relieved to have a plan in place with no variables or worries about how the kids’ education might be impacted by a second wave.

Academically speaking, there couldn’t be a better time to home educate. There are great online resources, and if you are hoping for more support, there are plenty of distance-learning options that provide some more structure.

And socially, keeping my kids home shouldn’t be too hard on them, because with five young children, our house often seems like a small (albeit a poorly-run and mutinous) school. Much of the normal school-based socializing is going to be compromised this year regardless: limited/no team sports, no close physical contact.

My children might be learning at home, but they will still be able to go on playdates and continue with some favourite sports. They’ll have some flexibility to attend homeschool lessons, or music lessons, and still keep our bubble small enough to feel confident about visiting with older relatives.

We are keeping our children home this year, but we wouldn’t hesitate to send them back if they wanted to go, or if we needed them to. It is a privilege to be in a position to make this decision. If my children didn’t have a ready-made friendship group at home, if I was worried about their mental health suffering because they were particularly desperate to go to school, then this article would be completely to the contrary. Ultimately, though, we are keeping them home because it works for them, for us, for now.